Episode 106: Making Peace With Fullness SOLO EPISODE
Episode 106: Making Peace With Fullness SOLO EPISODE
In this episode we sit down with....your host, Katelyn Parsons.
Katelyn Parsons is a Certified Intuitive Eating + Body Image Coach, Speaker, and host of the weekly podcast, Body Truth.
After years of struggling with bulimia and disordered eating, she not only found recovery but recognized a crucial missing link in the wellness industry- empowerment + individual sustainability around health. This inspired her entrepreneurial journey and life mission to shift the conversation toward healing our relationship with food and body.
For the past 4 years, Katelyn has helped countless creative leaders transform their relationship with food and body image through an integrative, evidence-based process so that they can move through each day feeling more present, empowered, and comfortable in their skin, without worrying about what to eat.
You’ll also find Katelyn snuggled up with her cat or strolling the beach in sunny San Diego with her husband and their pup Winnie.
In this conversation I talk about:
Language around fullness that you may have experienced throughout your life
Suggestions to truly begin making peace with fullness
Practical questions to ask yourself and take inventory of where you are at
The importance of self compassion throughout your healing journey
Resources I mention in this episode…
Connect with me...
IG: @katelyn.parsons
Website: katelynparsons.com
Ready to heal your relationship with food + body?
Book your FREE Body Trust Breakthrough Consult
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TRANSCRIPTION Episode 106: Making Peace With Fullness SOLO EPISODE
Katelyn:
Hi, welcome back to the show. I'm your host, Katelyn Parsons, I'm a certified intuitive eating, and body image coach. So grateful that you are here with me today we're talking all about making peace with fullness. And this is really a second part to the episode on hunger, which was two episodes back. So if you have not already listened to the episode, making peace with hunger, I really encourage you to go back and listen. However, it does not have to come before this episode. That being said, they are great complements to one another. And I don't need to explain that too much more hunger and fullness, they kind of go together like peanut butter and jelly. There is so much to say on the topic of fullness. And I really realized this after I recorded the past episode on hunger both of these topics have a lot of nuance. So I want to invite you to think about this episode as a foundation. And I'm sure that I will record some future episodes that will expand from everything that we are talking about here. A quick note about what I won't be addressing in this episode, I will not be covering gastroparesis, which is normally found in anorexia nervosa and is the definition is delayed stomach emptying that can create a feeling of early fullness. This is why it is really important to work with support. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, I also won't be addressing chronic illness medications or medical conditions that impact fullness queues. So that being said, please use your own due diligence as you're listening. If you find yourself in any of those categories, I welcome you to stay with us. There's probably something for you here. But it's important to get that disclaimer so that you can take care of yourself as best as possible and also receive this information as it relates to your current condition if you are in any of those categories that you just mentioned. Also, as I mentioned in the previous episode on hunger, so much of this healing requires unlearning and relearning. So that's exactly where we're going to start for diving into hunger and unpacking that. As it relates to unlearning. I want to share some examples around this. And this really relates to the messages that we've received. So the question that I have for you is What messages do you remember receiving that have had an impact on your relationship with fullness? I'll give you some examples and see if any of these are relevant for your truth. Or you might come up with something completely different but clean plate club, did you grow up in a family where that was kind of a game that was played at dinner or just a mantra that was said often. Another one, there's children starving in Africa and kind of pairing that with food and the encouragement to continue eating another, you better eat everything to grow up to be big and strong a lot. A lot of that messaging is relate to younger children. And then another one, you have to finish it if you want dessert. So obviously these are more relevant for adolescents. However, the thing to note about messages like this is for most of us who have received a version of a message like this, we've most likely internalized them as a food role without even realizing it. And so if you are someone who grew up being asked how you feel around your hunger cues, your fullness cues or if you've been encouraged to describe what a full or comfortably full belly is like, if you've been guided to navigate fullness compassionately, or if you've had a very food neutral house, you're incredibly lucky. And this isn't to place a blame on families, whatsoever. This is a reminder that we are all products of diet culture. And we're all just doing our best and often without knowing that there is a different way and so I want to share that because as you are going through your own messages and where you received them who you received them from how they were received from you. That's important to just keep in mind as well. This is just gathering information. And that's another point that I want to go into as we start to navigate fullness a little bit more deeply. One thing that is incredibly valuable in this work is taking inventory of exactly where you are today without changing anything. So I'm going to go through some steps on how to begin really healing your relationship with fullness. Or exploring your relationship with fullness, wherever you feel like you have an easier entry point.
There's some suggestions here that I want to offer you. So taking inventory of where you are today. Examples, what does fullness feel like to you? Just getting curious about that. So often, when I'm working with clients at the very beginning, I can't tell you how many times I always, I always start out with a general health assessment form. And one of the questions that I always ask is, how often can you tell if you are hungry and full on a scale of one to 10. And the general response that I get back? One being, never 10 being always is usually around like a one or two. So if you are somebody who is finding that you are unable to recognize when you are getting full, and just what that gentle, comfortable fullness feels like you're definitely not alone. I can absolutely relate to that as well. So that's why I want to offer you this question to just begin exploring what does fullness feel like to you without judging it just gathering information? As if you were going to share with me or someone else? How does fullness feel physically? How does fullness feel mentally? What are the thoughts that go through your mind as you are noticing yourself becoming full? And also getting curious about how fondness affects you emotionally? What emotions do you notice? And if possible? Where do you notice those emotions in your body? We call them feelings because we feel them on a physical level in our body, which is so cool. So feelings are feedback, we feel the feelings physically. So just beginning to really go through that inventory as you are exploring fullness for you. And one other. One other way that you might be able to do this that I often find is common in clients, in the very beginning stages, is seeing if there might be one meal or snack out of your day, where you do recognize that you are comfortably full. And it might not stand out to you as easily or prolifically. Because perhaps most of the other meals or snacks feels so uncomfortably full or just out of control or disconnected in some way. And so if there is perhaps one meal or one snack that you can start with that is a great, that is a great tool to just begin exploring what fullness feels like on all of these different levels.
Okay, next thing that I want to offer you in exploring this work exploring how to just become more comfortable with fullness and begin to trust your fullness again, is noticing how you are experiencing fullness throughout your day. And throughout your week. Okay, so let me explain this a little bit more. Does this look different? From breakfast to dinner? Do you notice perhaps that you are more comfortably full at breakfast and uncomfortably full at dinner time relating back to that example that I just shared about? Most likely there is one point in the day where you are finding that comfortable fullness without recognizing it but just really paying attention to that. Or maybe you you find yourself on an average Tuesday having that comfortable fullness versus a Saturday where it tends to be a full day or a large majority of the day of uncomfortable fullness. And getting curious about this from a physical, mental, emotional and also circumstantial aspect. Let me break this down a little bit for you. So what is going on in your environment around you? We're talking about the circumstantial perspective. So maybe you notice that after breakfast you feel comfortably full and spat in satisfied, versus after a snack in the afternoon. So how are you eating the food? What are you eating? How do you feel emotionally at each of these parts in the day, what else is going on around you. So it's important to just acknowledge these patterns in our day. And also in our week as well to remember, we're just gathering information, we're just taking inventory of all of this. So we've just talked about the messages that we're really exploring from adolescence that we're unpacking, unlearning. And then gathering information and taking inventory of where we are exactly right now without judging, just compassionately exploring how fullness applies to you right now, your relationship with fullness on a physical, mental, emotional, and circumstantial level as well to the next piece that I want to offer you that goes along with what I just said, is really leading with curiosity and compassion. And creating the self awareness that we just covered, is going to offer so much information for change. But if we gather this or go through the motion from that place of judgment, it can often be a catalyst to send us spiraling. And this is really important to check in with where expectations are being placed as well, too, which we won't get into expectation setting in this episode, it is incredibly, incredibly important for those work, though. Sorry, I'm a little distracted right now, because Georgia just came over and was gonna sit on my lap and then decided to do something else. So let me bring my attention back to you. And the topic of compassion doing this work. So we want to bring this type of kind and compassionate self talk into this exploration of this, of where your relationship is, with foreigners right now with gathering information, taking inventory speaking to yourself, just like you would talk to a best friend that, if that lands with you, I really invite you to begin practicing self compassion from that, from that lens, how you would talk to your best friend, if they were sharing this information with you, and the emotions that come up around it as well too. And remembering that this is just one moment in time, and that you got to move forward. So this is really important. Let me give you an example. Because chances are, if you're listening to this episode, there's a good possibility that you can't recognize fullness as easily as you'd like to or you feel disconnected from that body cue or you have a a really challenging relationship with your fullness cues. And you might find that there are periods of the day where you experienced this out of control eating and this uncomfortable fullness that really creates these heavy emotions. And that often comes with this negative self talk with this internal self judgment. So this is why I really want to emphasize how important practicing curiosity and compassion is in this work. Because if you are finding yourself just gathering their information, and you realize hey, I am way past comfortable fullness, I binged I'm, I'm noticing that I can't get out of this pattern. I don't know how to break this pattern. That's not where we're at right now. And you might be farther along, you might be a little bit behind, you might, you might feel like this is super relevant for you exactly where you are right now. Whatever stage you are in, compassion is coined to serve you. It's not just for this one part in your relationship with food. It's not just in the healing process. It's it's a tool that is really enhanced throughout life. The more you used it, the more you use it. So what's next? I have some notes and I'm just reading through. Okay, the next Aha, making peace with fullness. The next part that we're going to talk about is healing complex restrictions and honoring your hunger signals consistently. Which is also another reason why the episodes Hunger is a great complement to this one. If you've been in this community for a while, you are probably familiar with my process for healing, binge eating, which really relates to healing complex restrictions. But even if you don't consider yourself a binge eat, or just someone who feels out of control around food, however, that resonates with you, or if you find yourself in a pattern of eating past comfortable fullness that you can't seem to get out of, then looking at how you might be restricting food without realizing it is going to be an area that you want to pay attention to. Let me say that, again, looking at how you might be restricting food without realizing it is an area that you want to pay attention to. And I say without realizing it, because this is also this is why I refer to it as complex restriction. Because if you are recovering from the messages that have been internalized, or practice through diet culture, or if you've never even considered yourself a diet or but have just internalized these health messages or expectations. There's a good possibility that there are these really nuanced restrictions that are keeping you stuck. And so that's why curiosity and sit in this area is so important. And this is also why compassion is so important too, because it does take time, I will be the first to say, there are definitely some little sneaky messages or rules. That kind of surface for me sometimes around food, or body stuff. And I've been doing this work for years now, I've been practicing this, I've been coaching on this, I've been through therapy, my own coaching all of these things. And it's so deep, that sometimes it does come up. And so that's why I really, if if you're not tired of hearing this already, that's why I am so passionate about preaching compassion, because there's a good chance that it, it probably will pop up in some way from time to time. And that's on an opportunity to feel like oh my god, I'm back at square one, or the stories around how you're failing or you're behind or you're not doing it right. It's just an opportunity to recognize it, create that self awareness, hold compassion for yourself in that moment and choose how you want to move forward. Okay, I know I kind of just went on a tangent there. But that is really related to looking at the complex restrictions, physically, mentally, and emotionally these food rules and approaches, message messages, beliefs around food that are keeping you stuck in the restriction pattern, which is almost always causing a binge effect or a an eating past comfortable fullness effect. Or just that disconnection with your hunger and your fullness cues. So final note that I want to share about hunger and fullness just wrapping this up, you guys. I'm already thinking oh my god, what am I leaving out? So I am practicing self compassion right now. Because this is I know, this is so deep, there's so many layers here, I just am. I'm just trusting that this is a tiny little message that you need to hear or that you're getting value of in some way, even if it's just one little one little point. And like I mentioned at the beginning, I will do future episodes where I unpack this even more. So actually, before I wrap it up with my final point, let's just go back through the main themes of making peace with fullness. So I know we already kind of did this once. But just so that we're all super clear. We're really looking at the messages that we have internalized our own fullness from adolescence to just how they've shown up if you want to journal on this if you want to voice note on this if you just want to kind of reflect on this and have that question in your in your head. That is a great place to start. And then we're going to move into where we are right here right now. Where what is my relationship with fullness, taking inventory of how fullness feels physically, mentally, emotionally, and just getting curious about where you are right now. None. We're going to notice how You are experiencing fullness throughout your day any patterns that are showing up throughout the day throughout the week. We are leading with curiosity and compassion through all of this and really emphasizing that as we are beginning to go through this inventory process is unlearning process, and this relearning process, and making peace with hunger, healing those complex restrictions, which is really going to just set set a foundation for being able to really honor your fullness cues, when you are having enough food consistently throughout the day, enough variety of food, when you have healed the food policing in your mind around food rules, the good food, the bad food, the black, white, thinking the all or nothing thinking, all of those things around food, which are restrictions. That is going to set the stage for just even deeper healing, in making peace with fullness.
And then the final note that I want to share is an important one. This is not the hunger fullness, diet, and there is absolutely a movement because diet culture will get their hands on anything that they can to turn it into something that it's not. So there's absolutely a movement of just professionals who who really have kind of exploited this part within the intuitive eating process into really just making this a hunger and fullness diet. Making peace with fullness is not about creating a perfectionistic goal of never feeling too full. Again, this is not about this is not about creating a challenge for yourself or a grading system for yourself. This is not attached to morality, this is really about exploring where you are, and taking your power back around how to reconnect with your body and how to make peace with all of these feet, things that feel disruptive, externally and internally. And this is just one part of healing your relationship with food body and yourself. It is not, you know hunger and fullness. These are just two themes, reducing it down to the main point of just the intuitive eating process or really just healing your relationship with yourself rebuilding your self worth. That is so disempowering. So please run for the hills, if you ever feel like you're following someone or you know, if you are reading something, or just getting the sense that somebody is kind of harping this as a diet. That's something you definitely want to pay attention to him. You got to empower yourself around this information. And you got to get curious about the relevancy of all of this as well, too. I know you're smart though, I know that you've you know that on a really a really internal level, just want to remind you as you go through this, because a lot of this can feel new. And a lot of this is new. This whole process, like I just said, it is about reconnecting with your internal cues, which is also known as interoceptive awareness. If you are interested in learning more about that I haven't done an episode on interoceptive awareness, but it's really fascinating. There's so much research on this. There's just so many, there's so much good information on our interoceptive awareness and why this is so important and how to actually empower this within ourselves and rebuilding trust with your body. This process is personal, it takes patience. It takes practice. Okay. I'm gonna leave it here for now. Because I know this is a lot and I know that I just have a feeling that this is going to be a really powerful next step for you. Just beginning to explore all of this. You know, even if you're somebody who has been exploring the intuitive eating process, exploring healing your relationship with In your body image and your self worth, if you're working with somebody, if you're really integrated in the work, just personally, this is really an opportunity to just pause and reflect on some of the things that might just feel so normal right now and just check in to see if there's anything else here. That's another part of healing our relationship with ourselves. And with food in our bodies. It really is these constant check in points. And, you know, this is so common. This is a pattern that we find in romantic partnerships and relationships with friends, in our businesses, this is what I call going back to basics. So maybe this is for you, if you are just super new to all of these concepts, if you really are deciding to do some of this work and get really curious about healing your relationship with yourself, and with food and your body image. Maybe it's here if it's a little bit longer in your journey. Okay, I'm going to get this off because I'm starting to babble. If you found this episode helpful, please consider leaving a rating and review and sharing it with somebody who might appreciate it too. Also, if you're not on my weekly email, come join the party. Every Sunday, you'll receive an email from me filled with a personal note, reflection questions, inspirational quotes, food and body image resources, from books to style, easy recipes, and everything happening in our body truth community. I'll link everything in the show notes for you to find to keep it super easy. Also, one more note, you guys, we have some really fun guests coming up. I cannot wait for these humans and their truth and the message that they are going to just completely rock your world with. I had so much fun talking with them. I learned so much. So just a little teaser. Stay tuned for the future, upcoming episodes. And know that I love you. I know my mind was kind of in a few different places. I'm about to start my period and I feel like I always get that way. When I'm about to start my period. I'm like, wow, I just did a meditation and I still feel like a little space you need to ground so practicing self compassion, practicing just leaning into my values. And this community is definitely one of them. So it feels good just to spend this time with you. Thank you so much for being here today. I love you. I'll see you next week. Bye.