Episode 104: Making Peace With Hunger SOLO EPISODE
Episode 104: Making Peace With Hunger SOLO EPISODE
In this episode we sit down with....your host, Katelyn Parsons.
Katelyn Parsons is a Certified Intuitive Eating + Body Image Coach, Speaker, and host of the weekly podcast, Body Truth.
After years of struggling with bulimia and disordered eating, she not only found recovery but recognized a crucial missing link in the wellness industry- empowerment + individual sustainability around health. This inspired her entrepreneurial journey and life mission to shift the conversation toward healing our relationship with food and body.
For the past 4 years, Katelyn has helped countless creative leaders transform their relationship with food and body image through an integrative, evidence-based process so that they can move through each day feeling more present, empowered, and comfortable in their skin, without worrying about what to eat.
You’ll also find Katelyn snuggled up with her cat or strolling the beach in sunny San Diego with her husband and their pup Winnie.
In this conversation I talk about:
Diet culture's deep rooted fear of hunger
The effects of restriction and binge eating
Why the topic of hunger can feel confusing
How to listen to your body and honor your hunger cues
Practical action steps towards making peace with hunger
Resources I mention in this episode…
Connect with me...
IG: @katelyn.parsons
Website: katelynparsons.com
Ready to heal your relationship with food + body?
Book your FREE Body Trust Breakthrough Consult
Grab your FREE Intuitive Eating Workshop
Get weekly email support from me to help you heal your relationship with food + body image
TRANSCRIPTION Episode 104: Making Peace With Hunger SOLO EPISODE
Katelyn:
Hi, welcome back to the show. I am so excited to record this episode today. My mind is like going all over the place. I woke up this morning and I just had this inspired idea to record this episode on hunger specifically, it just felt really relevant for this community right now. It's a topic that comes up a lot. When supporting clients. This is something that I have really done a lot of work around, personally. And my hope today is to simplify the topic of hunger provides some more context around why this is often it might feel so confusing, and also give really practical action steps towards making peace with hunger. By the way, I didn't introduce myself. Hi, I'm Katelyn Parsons, I'm just assuming that you're all here hanging out all the time, but this might be your first time to the show. So welcome to the party. I'm Katelyn Parsons. I'm a certified intuitive eating and body image coach, I really help creative leaders thrive and feel authentic in their skin. I specialize in binge eating and body image support specifically. And I'm so grateful that you are here. So let's just take a deep breath together before we dive in, because we have a lot of things that we're going to talk about in this episode. So breaths are always a good idea. It's often how I start a client session. And just a little hot tip for breathing too. When you inhale, your belly expands like you're blowing up a balloon. And when you exhale, your belly falls. So very often, we're used to sucking in our stomachs, especially as women and that's what we're taught. And we often think that when we breathe in, we suck in. And it's actually the opposite that is creating a deep diaphragmatic breath, which is good for so many things, specifically, mental focus, clarity, stress, sleep, and a lot of other things. This is not an episode on breathing, though. I would love to do one those. So perhaps in the future, but we are going to talk about hunger.
So for most of my life, struggling with binge eating on and off, I felt like I only knew extreme hunger and extreme fullness, I would look around often at other people and feel like oh my god, they have it figured out. And I'm just sitting here in my own shame cycle in my own secret, just kind of living my life feeling really confused and really frustrated. And also just like that was what I was destined to experience for the rest of my life, extreme hunger and extreme fullness. So if you are in that position in your life right now, you're so not alone. If you've been there before I hear you I see you loud and clear. These are often things that we don't really talk about because there is a lot of shame associated with this sensation. But it's more normal than you think believe me and also it does not have to be this way. Healing our hunger and just making peace with hunger is a process and one that is like most things when it comes to healing our relationship with food, something that is physical, mental, and emotional. It is a process of unlearning and relearning. Okay, so I want to zoom out for a moment and shine a light on some of the things that you may not recognize when it comes to hunger. Some things you might, I'd love to hear actually. So come over to the Instagram page, I guess my Instagram page Katelyn Parsons, and tell me I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. But there's no doubt about it. We live in a culture, aka diet culture that has a really deep rooted fear of hunger. And the truth is, if our culture is teaching us to not trust our own body cues around hunger, then how the hell are we supposed to feel comfortable and secure with this very natural body cue. So one of the things that you have probably heard me speak about often, if you've been in this podcast community for a while, or just the community in general, even if you don't listen to the podcast that often I talk about this regularly just in my content. But the importance of addressing complex restriction, I say complex because it is physical, mental and emotional when it comes to restriction. And I often speak about restriction in terms of healing, binge eating, and getting out of the Restrict binge cycle so that you can feel more comfortable around food, it's super important to address. So like I said, Before, I want to shine a light on something that I didn't realize was happening when I was feeling really confused around hunger and just kind of, in my own frustration with it. When we engage in restrictive eating, whether it is intentional dieting, or internalized health rules, some other form of restriction that is almost always going to create a backlash in our body's response to food, which usually shows up as eating past comfortable fullness, or mindless eating. This could be using food as a main emotional coping tool, or straight up binge eating. And this alone is absolutely going to create an inability to trust our body, which often becomes confused with our ability to trust our hunger cues. And so in a cultural context, we have basically been swimming in an environment I, you know, we're calling it diet culture, that's what it is. It's so sneaky, but we're swimming in an environment, which is promoting really subtle forms of restriction. And then essentially, teaching us that we, we should fear hunger, we shouldn't be able to trust our hunger that there's so much messaging around that. So it makes sense, right, that when I first started thinking about this, I had a huge lightbulb moment, I'm not sure if I hope I'm making this clear. And, you know, everybody's lightbulb moments come at different times. So this might feel really relevant right now, you might be scratching your head thinking like, I don't really get it, wherever you're at is exactly where you need to be. So just trust. But it was a big lightbulb moment for me, because I thought, oh my god, I have been swimming in these waters my whole life, saying, Don't eat this, don't eat too much, you know, all these external messages, that our basically promoting restriction around my relationship with food. And then also getting the messages of well, but you know, don't, don't eat too much or, you know, be wary of, of your hunger because it could mean this and all of these messages and beliefs around our hunger. And that makes sense, because if we're in restriction, our body is going to have the backlash that I just mentioned, that never feels good, and it doesn't feel good to eat past, comfortable fullness, it doesn't feel good to engage in binge eating or just mindless eating all of the time, or eating to cope with emotions all the time and being stuck in that cycle. All of those cycles are our results of the restriction and deprivation that were being sold in diet culture. So they really go hand in hand. Unlearning, like I said before, is a big, big piece of this. So when it comes to beginning the unlearning process, a helpful question to ask yourself is, what are those external messages that I've been taught about hunger? So for example, messages around appetite suppressants, advertisements. Around this are things that you might have picked up from your social circles, whether it's friends or family or just They're everywhere, things that you might have just like seen on a billboard driving by I don't know Health Tips. Like, if you feel hungry, you are most likely dehydrated, just messages like that distraction strategies to avoid hunger, like take a bath, or take a walk or call a friend. By the way, all of those, all of those things, baths, walks, friendship, connection. These are great ideas for self care support tools, but not in place of honoring our hunger. So really, taking some time to list out all of these rules and messages and beliefs that you have heard about hunger is, is the first step to really just build that awareness and get clear on where are these external cues really showing up in my life. And as you're going through this, whether it's just a general reflection, or actually doing some journaling, writing it out, talking it out with, you know, a support, support person, or even a friend in your life, however you want to do this exercise, just go through and ask yourself, is this true? Is this true? How do I know it's true? Is this supportive for me? And so often, we don't even realize that all of the external messages like these have slowly built up over time. And they really begin blocking our ability to trust our bodies and ourselves. It is so sneaky, so it's really empowering, when we give ourselves the time to just lay it all out and acknowledge, okay, what are these subconscious and conscious beliefs that have been created in my life around how I perceive hunger? Okay, so when it comes to relearning, despite what our culture teaches us, hunger actually shows up in many different ways, way beyond just the typical stomach pain or grumbling, or Nying, that we are traditionally taught. So let me give you some other examples of how our body lets us know it's hungry. And as you're listening to these, just just consider if these are symptoms that show up for you regularly, or if they are things that you've experienced, recently, or memories that you have around these. So besides just the physical hunger, pain in the stomach, some other ways that hunger shows up could be feeling a headache, feeling tired, or just lightheadedness, in general, difficulty concentrating, thinking about food. That was when I heard that one. For the first time, it was like, Oh, my God, that makes so much sense. And are you serious, drying dry mouth, or extra saliva in our mouth, just the the way that we are experiencing hunger, their different forms of anxiety and how that is showing up in the body. irritability, if you've ever heard the term hangry before often, that is a dip in our blood sugar. And that can occur for a lot of different things. But often, it's because we need to eat food right now. And that's why it shows up and it is so not fun to be the one who is hangry or on the other side receiving the hunger. So it's just something to consider. This is also often one of the reasons why hunger is mistaken or demonized for emotional eating, which I will absolutely address in a later episode. I have a lot of a lot of thoughts and there's a lot of research around just emotional eating in general. And there's a lot of confusion about it in our culture. But if you notice, I mentioned a few things, for example, anxiety. You know, and really often that is just an opportunity to acknowledge Okay, I think I need to perhaps eat food right now. And just honoring your body's hunger cues on an adequate level, which I'll get into in just a moment. Rather than using feeling like you're using food to cope for the anxiety, there's a lot to go into around the around there and and just speaking about anxiety specifically that is a completely different topic, but I hope that you kind of see the bridge that I am getting to and explaining that so One thing to also acknowledge when it comes to hunger signals signals is that if you have engaged in forms of food restriction for long periods of time, whether it's intentional dieting, or if you've experienced an eating disorder, certain illnesses, things like this, this has a higher risk of skewing your body's natural hunger hunger signals. So there are many, many studies that report. individuals struggling with anorexia often don't experience hunger sensations, because they've adopted they've adapted to, I guess, not adopted, but they've adapted numbing this feeling out physically and psychologically. And so they just can't really feel hunger anymore. And I am sure there are many of you in this community who can relate to that I can certainly relate to that at different points in my life. So just know that that is important to consider. And this is often one of the main challenges in recovery as well, too, particularly if patients are recovering through an intuitive eating process, because of the dissonance that occurs when you're eating based on your body telling you that it's hungry, and actively working to rebuild that sensation. They feel kind of conflicting when you're in the act of eating disorders. So this often means eating when you don't necessarily feel like you're hungry to rebuild that body cue, which is really complex and often very challenging emotionally and mentally as well to this is also why it's incredibly important and beneficial to get professional support when healing. And just to be clear, and intuitive eating process through eating disorder, recovery is definitely possible. It's just administered a bit differently for those with active eating disorders. And it's, of course, based on individual needs, which, again, is why it's so important to work with somebody who is a trained professional in these areas. Okay, so let's talk about steps for moving forward, more steps moving forward, since we kind of already addressed that. But I want to give three really clear steps for beginning to make peace with hunger. And I will just be really clear, these are the same steps that I use when talking about healing, binge eating, they really go hand in hand. And they're also very layered very complex have a lot of nuance to them. So just take it in, take notes, take a breath. Number one, you got to make sure you're eating consistently throughout the day. Hands down. So important. I know that there are many people who are thinking, and probably have questions like, Well, what about intermittent fasting? And what about this? And what about that, and all these things.
This is not going to be an episode on intermittent fasting. I have a lot of thoughts about that. But to really begin building a consistent rhythm with your body and your body cues, hunger, being a main one of them, making sure that you are eating consistently throughout the day is foundational, so breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, just generally speaking, eating three to four hours, not going longer than four hours. And this isn't this isn't to eat by the clock. But when you are in the healing process, when you're really doing your due diligence to nourish your body and really nourish your body. It might feel like that at first i I often say this to clients when we start working together, the beginning of the intuitive eating process and just the healing process healing your relationship with food you're learning so it's going to feel like you're hyper aware. So it is really normal to check in and kind of monitor okay, it's been, you know, three hours I need to eat something even if I'm not physically hungry right now. I need to get my body back into that rhythm to give it the space to experience what hunger might feel like and kind of reignite that cue which I get it it might feel scary at first, but it really is essential. Okay, and then the second piece to really look at in making peace with hunger is making sure that you're eating enough food. And this is really, this is really important. So enough food is being consumed at each meal at each snack. This is, of course going to vary on individual. And based on your lifestyle, there are many different factors that will go into how much food is considered enough for one person. How, how much you are moving, how much physical activity you're doing, your age, your sleep, your menstrual cycle. And then of course, other individual factors, like illnesses that come up pregnancy stress, you know, eating disorder, treatment, recovery, all of these things. So there's lots to consider here. But generally speaking, just checking in for yourself if you're not working with a professional. And just acknowledging Okay, am I eating consistently throughout the day? Is this enough food for me? How do I feel just even just asking yourself the question, on a physical level on a mental on emotional level, does this feel like an adequate amount of food for me. And then the third step towards making peace with hunger is giving yourself access to a variety of foods. So this means gently beginning to challenge food roles, making peace with all food, really looking at food policing. So those thoughts in your mind around oh, you should eat this, you shouldn't eat that. And just kind of that mental game that we play with ourselves that it's kind of what is known as Food policing, just kind of a high level overview of what that looks like. And this really ties into several principles of the intuitive eating process. And it does take time. But it is really important. So making sure you're eating consistently, making sure you're eating enough food and that consistency, and really making sure that you are eating enough variety of satisfying foods throughout that consistent process and your day, as well, too. So simultaneous to these three steps that I just mentioned, you can begin exploring the other possible signs of hunger and how you respond. So for example, if you notice that you get a headache at a certain time of the day, that's a really great opportunity to just check in, see if you can grab a snack, or have a meal perhaps or if you notice that you are thinking about food, often another great opportunity to just check in and see, hey, did I eat enough today? Did I eat enough satisfying components of of food today at my last meal? Do I need a meal or a snack right now?
Maybe you might just need a little something extra to satisfy that. And really leading with curiosity in this process is essential in the unlearning and relearning process, staying really open, curious, I love the term just the student of student of your life and just continuing to show up and learn about yourself in this way. Is really just such a great place to begin exploring and practicing this. So I also just realized I say so at like every single new paragraph I am reading based on notes, I took a lot of notes for this particular episode, because I really wanted to make sure that I got everything in that I could on this topic in a way that isn't completely overwhelming. So where do I want to? Where do I want to go next? When it comes to hunger, and just honoring hunger in general, here we go, I found my place. A great indicator to eat is when you feel yourself just slightly getting hungry on that hunger scale. So if we're looking at a hunger scale on a scale of one to 10, which is a tool that we use a lot in the intuitive eating process it again, it's one of those kind of hyper aware tools in the beginning that we don't even really think about as we become intuitive eaters, but one is considered like ravenous hunger where you're just so hungry, very much in that primal state. And then a 10 would be just incredibly fall like almost sickening falls. So when we approach hunger are really great. A really great number on the scale to shoot for is around a three to four, just that mild nudge of hunger, which I get it. I know that you might be sitting there thinking like, how am I supposed to know how that feels, it takes practice, it takes time. This is why support is really helpful in this, and you will get there. But a really great way to just start to recognize that is knowing just those biological signs and really listening to those natural body cues that are telling you that it's time to eat. Remember, this might show up differently than that feeling in your stomach. So it might be Oh, I'm I'm noticing I'm just a little lightheaded right now, but I'm not ravenously hungry. That's still a great indication that okay, it's probably time to eat. Or one of the other things that I had mentioned before as well to what we want to try to avoid to really just nourish our bodies. In the best way possible, what we want to try to avoid is waiting until you are just really hungry. So on the other side of that scale, kind of like in that eight 910 range when you're just ravenous are getting into that hangry territory. This is what is known as primal hunger. And this is a state of your body going into protective mode. And this is, I know, it's so frustrating in the moment, I know that it feels just really complex sometimes. But in those moments, especially of learning, I, I personally found this as a great opportunity to practice self compassion and just acknowledge, okay, wow, this is my body. protecting me this is when our body goes into protective mode when it senses famine or deprivation. It's just your body trying to keep you safe, it really can't distinguish between a restrictive diet or an actual famine. So we want to, oh, you know what, I totally just, I totally just realized I screwed up the way that I presented those numbers I said in eight 910. What I meant to say because that would be like on the fullness side of the scale is primal hunger is more or less in that one to three, like the very, very hungry stages on the scale.
Thanks for being patient with that little revision, I hope that you can see that and, and by the way, if that's something that you actually want, I have a guide that I'll link in the show notes that actually has a hunger and fullness scale. In it, it's my food freedom guide, I'm not sure if I think I've included that here before but in case you want to grab it, it actually has the hunger and fullness scale in it. So we'll link it in the show notes for you to, to get if that's something that you would like. So again, we want to be in that biological, just gently hungry territory when we start eating food. And this is not to create a ton of stress and anxiety and rules around getting it right. This is just a general guide, a general compass of what to look for, as we begin really healing our relationship with hunger and just getting to a place where we can honor, listen to and honor our hunger cues, more consistently and more actively. Okay, so let's wrap up this little mini training on hunger and just kind of go over everything we talked about before. So that you can just digest it move forward, and began taking action for yourself. So we talked about acknowledging and challenging the messages and beliefs that you've been taught about how to navigate hunger in your body, really looking at that, laying it all out and getting really clear on that. And then going into just noticing the more subtle ways that hunger shows up for you, beyond just the sensation in your stomach, and then the three parts that we discussed eating consistently throughout the day, making sure that you're eating enough food, and also having a wide variety of satisfying food options. And the last piece of this is to stay patient stay curious. Really Self Compassion is so essential in this entire process. To just remember, this process takes time. And it is often more complex than we realize. So self compassion is key. Patience is essential, staying open, staying curious and learning. And just moving forward one step at a time is going to be wildly beneficial for you in making progress forward. Alright, that's it. If you found this episode helpful, please consider forwarding it to a friend who might appreciate learning alongside you. And just a little caveat there. Be mindful when you do that. This sometimes this can be very sensitive for people. And so this is not to throw information at other people, when they might not be ready to hear it or preach to other people on things that you're learning that makes sense for you right now, I would love to invite you to share this episode, if you know that someone is on a similar path to you in terms of healing their relationship with food, if they're just curious about learning about how to do this in general. Those are the people that you want to send this to. Unless of course, you know, always use your discretion. I trust that you know who to relay information to in your life, but I think it's important to give the disclaimer as well too. And if you're resonating with this information and ready to go deeper in healing your relationship with food, and rebuild body trust so that you can feel more free, more present and more flexible in living your life. Click the show notes, book a breakthrough call with me to discuss coaching. These spots are application based so definitely don't wait to take action if that is something that you are interested in. That's all for today. I love you. I hope this was helpful and supportive for you. And I will be doing an episode on fullness soon as well too, because that's equally confusing and hunger and fullness go hand in hand. So be on the lookout for that in an upcoming episode. And have a great week. Bye