Episode 076 Kit Yoon: Reframing Beliefs, Eastern Medicine & Intuitive Eating
Episode 076 Kit Yoon: Reframing Beliefs, Eastern Medicine & Intuitive Eating
In this episode we sit down with....Kit Yoon.
Kit Yoon is a Holistic Health Practitioner with training in Chinese medicine, hypnotherapy, health, life and intuitive eating coaching background. She helps people feel better and live their healthiest lives by tapping into their own healing potential.
In this conversation we talk about:
Kit's personal discovery of HAES & intuitive eating
The mind and body connection of restriction & deprivation
The importance of energy for our well being & practical tips on how to start living a life of flow
The power of reframing your beliefs to shape your reality
Dismantling the cultural attachment to our bodies
Connect with our guest...
Resources we mention in this episode…
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TRANSCRIPTION
Episode 076 Kit Yoon: Reframing Beliefs, Eastern Medicine & Intuitive Eating
Katelyn:
Okay, we have Kit Yoon on the show today. Hi, kit. Thank you so much for being here.
Kit:
Hey, Katelyn, thanks for having me. I'm excited.
Katelyn:
I am so excited. We were just chatting before and for everybody who's listening, Kit lives in Columbus, Ohio, which I'm sure we’ll get into in your story. But there are so many previous guests, you may or may not know this listeners, who are from Columbus, Ohio as well, too. So, there's this amazing community happening of healers and coaches and creatives and just women who are doing really powerful things. And Kit is a part of this awesome tribe that is flourishing in this part of the world.
Kit:
Oh, I'm so honored that you said that. I still consider myself sort of a newbie in town, even though it's been over 10 years now that we moved here from California. But it does feel like a small town, even though it's sort of a big city. And it is a really sweet community of us health, wellness, Intuitive Eating intuitive movement, body image coaches and counselors and helpers. And so it's been super fun to be part of it and to see us sort of grow and you know, help as many people as we can.
Katelyn:
I love that. And I cannot wait to hear how you landed in this community. So let's just dive into your story. Are you ready?
Kit:
Yeah. Okay. So we start with the first question, your first body awareness moment? What did that look like for you that moment where you realized, I'm in a body and this means something in the culture that I'm living in? What did that look like for you personally? And how did that shape your relationship with your body and or food moving forward? Go ahead and share your story.
Kit (body image story):
When I got this message, this question that you sent ahead of time, it sort of blew my mind that I never really thought about it before. And I think I'm lucky. I'm a lucky one to feel that way. So I had to do a little bit of not meditation, and like reflection, and really going back to where it was that I really started even thinking about my body. And the first thing that came to mind, I don't remember how old I was. But I was young enough. I grew up in Thailand. So that is part of my story. I was born and grew up, you know, speaking Thai. And living in Thailand until I was about age 12. So, I definitely did not grow up in a westernized culture. And that was back in the 70s. I was born in ‘75. And I was pretty naive and oblivious and totally cradled in a pretty balanced family as far as food and body stuff is concerned, like I never grew up around my parents or grandparents or aunts or uncles talking or worrying about their bodies. So the first time I even remember, again, when I was doing this exercise, thinking about when was the first time I really thought about my body, was when my mom commented, and it was totally factual a statement, and I have no idea why she brought it up. Maybe I asked her, maybe I made a comment. But the statement was that we, as in the women in our family, have big thighs and big arms, like big, you know, not forearms, the upper, what do you call that part, but where our biceps are. And it was a fact. And you know, and I remember her saying that and I remember kind of going over my grandmother, my mom, and then I didn't really see myself because I was young enough that I didn't really even think about my body. But that fact, according to my mom stayed with me until even now, is that we just have big thighs and big arms. And maybe that was a way for her to sort of validate how we were compared to other Thai women. So not you know, this is very much a generalization, but a lot of Asians are very just naturally skinny with very skinny arms and skinny legs. And we just, we don't have that look that doesn't have that bodtype. And I think it was maybe a statement to prepare me for later. But you know, I didn't think anything of it. Now fast forward to sometime in high school. And we went to a Broadway play. I think it was A Streetcar Named Desire with Glenn Close, okay. I didn't know her or anybody.
Katelyn:
Oh, my God!
Kit:
Right. So I remember sitting close to the stage, like, you know, I could see her very clearly she was close by. And I remember looking at her arms. And they were like, not super buff, but you know, like lean and toned. And I remember thinking, I want her arms. And I don't know if that's related to the fact that my mom gave me years ago or whatever. But since that moment, I was like, I want Glenn Close’s arms. And so, you know, again, still not not not a huge deal, which is just kind of in awe of that, that kind of arms. And I never even noticed anybody else's arms before. Before that. So who knows why, but, but yeah, when if and when I ever, like worked out or, you know, lifted weights. It was definitely like, let's work on the arms. Let's do, let's do push ups, let's do you know, the, the dips. And so that's kind of my early relationship with my body, there was not really a whole lot of dislike, or even like a sense of, of what I looked like. And then I remember looking, it was almost like looking back. So pretty healthy relationship with food with, you know, again, didn't really have a relationship with my body because I didn't really think about it. And college came, and I remember starting to hear about this, you know, the freshman 15. And possibly because I didn't grow up in this culture that was like a new, new concept to me. So I kept hearing about the freshman 15. And what actually happened to me was, I lost weight the first year of college, because all of a sudden, I was within walking distance to a weight room, and I was walking all over the place for college, or, you know, I went to a school with a relatively large campus, so we walked everywhere. So I lost weight without planning on it or anything. And, and looking back at pictures of me in high school, thinking, oh, wow, I was kind of chubby back then. And I was, you know, it's, again, I'm not in that life, skinny, you know, kind of Asian body, but not at all, you know, overweight or anything, but I remember thinking I was chubby.
So, I actually, you know, now that I'm thinking about all of this, it's, I never really needed to change my body. I didn't have the thought that I don't like the way my body looked. And maybe it was my mom's comment that sort of kept me from needing to look like other people. And at this point, I was in the US, I went to high school in Massachusetts, College in Massachusetts, as well. So I'm now surrounded by you know, Americans and international students, very diverse and went to a pretty diverse school. So the comparison thing was not really part of my It was not an issue when it really became a thing and this is so recent, actually, Katelyn, that it's, it's, um, it's probably an unusual story for a lot of like compared to other guests. So I became a Chinese medicine practitioner after a couple of years of college. I went to grad school, studying traditional Chinese medicine and happily treating people using the modalities of Chinese medicine, very holistic, very natural. And I got interested in hypnotherapy, hypnosis, and I got trained in that, thinking that that would really help me get people even deeper into their healing. And it definitely did. What came with that program was an already made weight loss using hypnosis program called Trim Life. And it was part of The Cleveland Clinic weight management program. So, you know, I'm all about evidence based, I'm married to a doctor. So there's this, you know, sort of like an East West, natural, conventional Western thing going on. So I kind of totally bought into this program, as in, that's great, I'm going to offer that it was already made, you know, there were like six weeks already planned out. So I started offering this program for clients and patients and people loved it, because it was a, you know, sort of a new way of weight loss and looking at how they process their thinking and their behaviors and all those things. So all of a sudden, my focus shifted to weight stuff that I didn't need to do myself, but I was, I thought it was a good idea to, you know, do something that a lot of people seem to struggle with and wanted to do and was beneficial. Little did I know that that just takes a lot of people down a whole diet, culture of weight loss as the main goal. And the, you know, the diet backlash, and all of that all the things that we now know and understand to not be healthy. So I didn't really know about that until, for the first time in my life, I went on a diet that I actually didn't even know about. But it was part of another program. It's called the Stop Overeating program, part of this Life Coach School that I did my training through, again, thinking of using it as something more beneficial, like adding to my tool belt of oh, here's another, you know, another way of looking at this and another way of helping people. So I decided to try this stop overeating program, which, again, it wasn't called a diet. So I didn't know it was a diet, but it was like, if you did these, you know, things I don't own, like a bunch of different things, they call it the protocol, then it will help you stop overeating. And if you want to lose weight, this is a really good way to do it. So I just bought into it. And to be a good student, I followed the protocol, which surprised me because I never thought I would do anything like that. And had a goal weight, you know, kind of set dates for myself, that the whole smart thing, you know, to set to be intentional about this goal. And, I lost weight. And then I realized that I didn't want to keep living that way. Because it was very restrictive. And I love food. Like I love eating, I love cooking. I love everything about food, I love watching things about food, I love reading about food, it was, you know, a very pleasurable part of my life. And when I was on that protocol, food became not just restrictive, but they encourage you to think of food as fuel. Fuel for the body, you know, you don't need to eat it if you don't need it kind of thing, like, you know, just not even really listening to the pleasures, right, just like just eat what your body needs. And that's all you need. And that definitely wasn't going to work for me. So what happened was, I reached my goal weight. I liked the way I felt physically because I weighed less than I've ever weighed in my adult life. And you know, it's one of those moments when you look in the mirror, and I didn't think I had a problem right? Because I didn't and then when I lost the weight there was only 10-12 pounds at the most but I’m small- just 5’2. So in the mirror with that result, I was like, Oh, well look at that. So that was like the first time that I had an attachment to what my body could look like. And then the brain fought back and said, but you don't really want to live this way. So I spent a couple of years fighting between what the body can look like and how I actually want to live. And so as you know, people experience any kind of diet is they go back to the way they used to eat. And the weight, of course, goes back with them. And then this new behavior that I think is not uncommon for most people either of overeating, right, so totally ironic because it was to stop overeating. What happened was the overeating happened, because of the restrictive mentality that the brain went through during the diet. So I was overeating for months, and I gained weight back and more. And then my brain was like, Whoa, what is going on? So I gained the weight back and more. And so now my body was heavier than it's been. I mean, I don't know. Probably ever. And that was about a year and a half, two years ago. And I started, it started being a problem, like I made it a problem. And I made it something that I wanted to work on. So I worked with coaches, and I read lots of books. And I just tried to understand, like, what is happening, and when I discovered the world of Intuitive Eating, and body positivity and Health at Every Size, and listening to all these, you know, amazing, smart people talk about exactly what I was going through. You know, it was a huge lightbulb moment. And I decided that I needed to, to get deeper for myself and for my future clients, because oh my gosh, you know, did I do anything terrible to all the clients that I took through some of these programs? And how can I help them if they need help coming back the way that I had to go through? So that's kind of my story, Katelyn. I still I feel like, you know, it's a journey. It never ends, right life. Life doesn't end until it does yet. But I'm definitely in a much better place, thanks to just a new way of thinking thanks to not allowing that culture to, to give me what I think is normal, right? So I'm not I'm not saying that I don't like the words resist or reject, because I feel like those are, it gives a different energy. So I'm allowing it to be around me, I'm just not buying into it anymore. And I'm recognizing iit for what it is. And I'm just like, I usually don't join things like I'm not a joiner. So I feel like I joined it accidentally, and I quickly removed myself from it. And now I can see it for what it is. And I can decide not to be part of it at all, just knowing that it's not going away, and I have to live with it. But how can I live with it on my own or not live within it? But outside of it?
Katelyn:
Yeah, you know, what I think is really common about diet culture. This is true for me, I'm wondering if it's true for you as well, too. But so often, we're not able to name it, especially when we're in it. And so it's hard to really take inventory of what is harmful and what's helpful. If we don't have the language and if we don't have the attunement to look a little bit more critically and compassionately at the information that we're taking in. Did you feel like that as well too? Like when you- I have so many questions. Your story is incredible. But when you were in this program the overeaters program, had you even heard the term diet culture before?
Kit:
No, no and I feel again, like, I'm, like I was living under a rock or in a cave. Until, you know, literally reading the books that Evelyn and Elyse wrote, I mean, the different versions of Intuitive Eating and, and then also hearing it from other counselors and influencers around it. Yeah, that term diet culture was completely outside of my existence in my reality. And, when I was introduced to it, it explained everything. Yeah. And it is like a fish in the water. And then you, you know, you have to be outside of it to go, Oh, I wasn't- that's, that's where I was living, right? In water.
Katelyn:
Mm hmm. Yeah, I had a similar experience and I see this a lot with clients. And it's, it's always, just so many moments of celebration when this happens, but just that awareness, and that realization of going into a store, and looking at products, and actually acknowledging this is messaging that is disrupting my relationship with food and my body. This isn't helpful. This is harmful. This is a part of diet culture. And being able to decide, like you said, what you're buying into, and what you're not gives you your power back and your autonomy for your body, and your life. But that is so interesting. And I also am curious, when you were in that space of finding yourself eating past fullness, in a really uncomfortable way. When you said you had a lightbulb moment around when you discovered Intuitive Eating- what was your process like to get there? Do you remember what you were googling? Like, what were you trying to figure out? And how did you come to the lightbulb moment of discovering this community of Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size and acknowledging diet culture? What was the process like for you?
Kit:
Before I really dove into Intuitive Eating, I had heard the term intuitive eating. I had heard the term intuitive, right? Like people do things intuitively. And intuition and all of that, and I, I got it, but I really got it when my husband left half of a cookie uneaten. And I said, Are you going to finish that? And he goes, Oh, no, no, I'm full. Save it. save it for later. And, you know, at that point, I had been doing more of the overeating and that backlash of restriction, you know, like, no, no, you, you eat, you eat everything, right? And so I said, Well, why don't you finish it, or I'll throw it away. And he said, no, save it for later. If you know, and then I think he just said, like said, I'm an intuitive eater. So I kind of connected that the actual, you know, the behavior, and the word. And then I kept hearing after that, I kept hearing the term intuitive eating. And I didn't know about the movement and the community before then. But once I sort of opened that door and read the books and educated myself and went through the course, then it just made all the sense in the world. And it really, you know, it really kind of brought back my initial education, my knowledge of holistic medicine and holistic health, because that's really what intuitive eating is. It's a mind body intuition practice, right? There's nothing more intuitive than eating than feeding yourself. So I think we just kind of missed the, the, the, the message of it has to come. Your intuition? What does your body want? And when does it want it? And how much does it want? Because we are in a diet culture and diet culture tells you the information that we think we need to follow, right? Not just what to eat that's supposedly good and healthy for you, but how much to eat and when and all that stuff that takes you away completely from your own intuition. So I don't know if I really answered your question.
Katelyn:
No, you did.
Kit:
Yeah. So the lightbulb was was you know, partly like just hearing it from My husband as he was practicing it, and then the other light bulb moment, Katelyn was, you know, when I was struggling to not overeat when I was struggling to not restrict, because, you know, it was just easy to either, you know, black and white, you're either restricting, or you're just like free eating, like, it's all available at all times. And there was one day, when I tried to remember if it's breakfast, I was sort of obsessed with these cookies that I make. And they're like, you know, like healthy cookies, or like little protein balls. And I usually ate two of them with my coffee. And I remember that day, I was busy doing something. But my brain was like, no, this is what we do. Every day, like, this is what we do every day. And I ate one of them. And I told myself that I can have another one if I want to. It's not that I have to. It's not a should or shouldn't. If I want it, I can. If I don't want it I don't have to. And I didn't eat it. And that I know, it sounds super silly. But I kind of blew my head that day that I don't, I'm not eating it because I don't have to. And I don't want to instead of should I? Or shouldn’t I? You know, because my body didn't want it. So that again was like a nudge from my intuition. It wasn't from the mind wanting to do this habitual thing, or the mind not wanting to feel restricted. Or, you know, should I eat it? Should I not eat it? Is it healthy? Is it the right timing? Like all those things? It's just once you actually tune into your intuition and what your body wants or doesn’t want, It's like, Oh, I don't have to if I don't want to. And I just chose not to. And you know, I think you and your listeners probably know this, you know, have heard this over and over and over is that when you give power back to yourself and not to the food or not to the culture, not to other people. That's like that's where magic happens.
Katelyn:
I really, yeah, it's rebuilding that self trust. And also, I'm really picking up on restriction manifesting in different forms, which I am so adamant about getting this message out. Because I think that we so often feel like restriction is just physical. But you've given the example of a restriction showing up mentally and emotionally as well too. And it's like this perfect storm for overeating, eating past fullness, eating past comfort, just eroding that self trust that we have with our bodies when we continue to restrict in all of these different ways.
Kit:
Yeah, restriction is the brain's worst enemy, because it creates deprivation. And deprivation means death. Right? Like our human brain, which is not that much more evolved than animal brains, does everything it can to avoid that feeling of deprivation. Because it thinks we're going to die. So deprivation is fear of death, right? So it doesn't know that we are in a famine, and everybody's like not eating for days, or that we just aren't going to have one more cookie. Right? It's the same sensation in the body of oh my gosh, I can't have that. And what it's going to do is it's going to go against that deprivation. So it's going to seek pleasure and avoid more pain. Not realizing that later, there's going to be more pain because overeating usually ends up you know, we both feel we feel both physically and emotionally terrible when we do go overboard but the overeating often comes from that sense of not enough. You know, I need more. I don't want to feel deprived. I don't want to feel restricted. And it really comes from I should not do that. I shouldn't eat that. And we just keep shooting ourselves in the foot.
Katelyn:
Oh my gosh, it. Yes, that constant question of where are you shooting yourself in the foot? You know what's so funny. I became so attuned to that word- nytime I hear the word should. It doesn't matter how it's being used. I like bristle. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I am so hyper aware of it probably a little bit too. Well, let me ask you how, how would you reframe the word should? How do you like to do that for yourself or for the people that you support in your community?
Kit:
If it has to do with food, it's really instead of should, it's a want.
Katelyn:
That's what I say. Yeah.
Kit:
Yeah. And that I mean, it's magic. It changes, right? Like, should you eat it? Or do you want to eat it?
Katelyn:
Mm hmm. And that's, I think that gives you back your power. Yes. And this is also multi dimensional as well, too. Because want also takes into account how you want to feel. And when we rebuild our relationship we really kind of come attune to how certain foods make us feel. And I'd love your take on this to0, just your process of realizing which foods give you more energy or sustain you for longer periods of time that perhaps balance your blood sugar a little bit more effectively. If you have a back to back day- foods that make you feel a little bit more grounded, or just how did you explore your relationship with certain types of foods when you started really unpacking and dismantling diet culture and rebuilding that self trust?
Kit:
Yeah, good questions. So if we didn't have diet culture, and if we didn't know all the things that we know, now, we might actually do better when it comes to food choices, right? Because food is seasonal. I mean, it depends on where you live. If you live in the tropics, they're probably somewhat the same foods around, although that's not true. Since I didn't grow up in the tropics, I know, certain fruits don't, you know, come out. They only come out at certain times. But let's talk about where we are in the US. seasonally, they're different foods at different times of year. And this is where things like Chinese medicine and Ayurveda medicine come in very handy. Because it has to do with the energetics of the season and the food and your body. because your body is actually part of nature, like we totally forget, right? We think we're separate, but we are the same, we respond to the moon cycle, and the dampness and the coldness and the wind. And so we have to be extra in tune with how different foods make us feel in different seasons. And it might not be the same, you know, you have 10 people and it's winter time, but they have 10 different not 10. But, you know, everybody has different body types and different access and deficiencies. And so it's not going to be there's no one formula to it's wintertime. And we should eat these 10 foods, right? Because maybe generally That's true. But if you have more Yin, then you shouldn't be eating yen foods, you should eat more young foods to balance out your yet you know, so that's that's Chinese medicine. But the easiest way if you don't want to get into any of that is being super mindful about how each food makes you feel. And that's like physically, okay, I just ate a piece of pizza. How does my stomach feel right now? Like, is it neutral? Which is great. Is it rumbly? And in pain? That's not great. You know what I mean? So that's just simple. Evelyn has this simple thing of asking -are you neutral, pleasant or unpleasant, something like that. And you can just use that little measurement. I have patients who, when they're really in tune with their body, they know exactly what food is going to make them more energized and what foods will make them sluggish and depressed. So that's that's a practice that you have to decide you have to be intentional about tuning in and really like really listening to your body and seeing and it might take a whole week or a whole month to actually see a pattern. But when you do, it's like, so magical because it's better than medicine, right? Because it's like, you know what you need, what your body likes, what it doesn't like. And then it's not a restriction, or a diet, or part of anything that anybody's telling you because it's coming from your own body's intelligence.
Katelyn:
I love that so much. And it's this process of staying curious that I'm really hearing come through from everything, just approaching your relationship with your body, your relationship with food from a place of curiosity, so that you can continue to gather this information. So that in these moments, it doesn't feel like this three step exercise or, like all of your thoughts are going to this, the more that you stay curious, especially in the beginning of healing your relationship with food, the more neutral it becomes, and the more in tune you become with decisions around what your body needs in certain parts of time. I'm really interested in how you have managed to blend Chinese medicine and hypnosis with Intuitive Eating, and also your thoughts around the culture that we're in right now with our Ayurveda and Chinese medicine as well, too and how diet culture has has kind of sabotaged some of that as well. If you're seeing that at all, in your expertise, what's your perspective?
Kit:
So it's very simple, actually. And I want to try to make it as simple as possible, because the concept and the idea is simple. But it might take a moment to really understand it really comes down to energy flow. So imagine our body that includes your mind, and your intuition, imagine our being as different highways, right? So we have the circulation system, the lymph system, the nervous system, all of those, the systems that we know, in western medicine. In Chinese medicine and ayurveda , there are also channels in our own systems that don't necessarily match with the Western understanding, but enough so that we know that there are pathways right? Now, within these pathways, just think of the highways within the body. energy moves through. And we know that there's energy because we can actually measure the energy, the Chinese call it chi, the ayurveda calls it prana. Western medicine calls it I think energy atoms, quantum physics, whatever they call it, right? So when the energy gets to flow within our body, the mind or being with as little obstruction as possible, that is the state of well being. Okay, and we, I'll bet you get to experience that in moments. Right? When you're not worried about something or when you're not feeling ill or just that, that sense of peace and serenity or health, whatever you want to call it. Whatever gets stuck, whatever it creates, like I call them, traffic jams, or construction sites, or just imagine like you're just driving along a nice highway and then all of a sudden, there's like this huge traffic jam, and nobody's happy, right? Like we're frustrated and we don't know we're impatient. Those are what we call stagnations. So we call it chi stagnation. And that's what acupuncture and herbs and cupping and massage attempt to do in an attempt to help is to clear the status chi stagnation. Now, that can happen physically, like you know, you sprained your ankle or you have a hematoma or you have you know, headaches are definitely you know, type of chi stagnation. But, it can also be emotionally and stagnation in your mind. Happens all the time because our human brain likes to find problems to solve, right and we also have beliefs from many, many, many places that sometimes keep our chi flow stuck. So when it comes to food again, I mean, it's very simple if you have a belief that I have a bad relationship with food, simple as that, that's a huge chi blockage. Can you kind of see what I'm talking about? So, you're going to approach life with this huge traffic jam called, I have a bad relationship with food. And you're going to have a bad relationship with food, because that's your belief. Now, practices like Intuitive Eating, you know, meditation, self love, body image, healing, that's what helps take away or slowly get rid of this, the stagnation because then when you reframe your belief, when you start to think about yourself differently, and think about the world and approach the world differently, then you get to flow easier, we're just, we're like energy or water or you know, things that flow, we're supposed to flow, we're supposed to move around, physically, emotionally, and however you can, to to do that. That's, that's the healing. Right? And it's not easy to do it alone. Some people can. But it depends on people having lots and lots of layers of blockages, you know, and a lot of them were not intended. I mean, they, we grew up in this culture. And then if you have parents or friends or you know, whatever, society or groups that you're around, I mean, we add, it's like, if it's a river, it's like rocks that keep adding on to the river so that there's less flow, there's more of a dam. And how do we remove those obstructions?
Katelyn:
That’s the magic- he unpacking, the unraveling, the dismantling? Yeah, I love everything that you're sharing, I feel the same way too. It's really challenging to do on your own. And I also know how difficult it is to ask for help for so many people as well. I'm holding my hand up everyone, like I really, really get it- I have had to ask for help in my own healing journey. But, and it seems like you have too Kit, but it’s incredibly difficult. And it's something that I still struggle with, continuously as well, too. So it's a practice. Okay, so many questions.
Kit:
Go for it.
Katelyn:
For somebody who's listening who's like, okay, this makes sense, but how do I know if I'm not in flow in my life right now if I'm not getting any type of support? What are some ways that somebody would be able to recognize that for themselves if they are living a life with a lot of dams built up inside of them and they don't have that constant energy flow like you're talking about? How would you be able to recognize that?
Kit:
Hmm. Well, most people, so I'm just actually imagining, like just sitting down with a new client, right? And they clearly reached out to you know, somebody like you or me for a reason. And they might not know why they just know, they don't feel good. And I'm just kind of like, imagining what I would say first, and I usually give them a magic wand. And I said, if you can wave this over yourself or over your life, what would you change first? And usually, they'll know what that thing is, right? Or they'll have like a list of 10 things. But then I usually say Okay, so what would be the first thing like what was the biggest one that you want to have this one help you transform? And whatever that is, is probably one of the bigger rocks in the river, right, in the dam. And then from that place, we ask questions, or we have them ask themselves questions like, why is that bothering you so much? And you know, when did it start and so layers of digging, and usually what ends up happening is they get a feeling, you know, this, Katelyn, it all comes down to feeling. And let's say it's a feeling of shame, right? That's causing them to feel blocked, feel terrible about themselves, or whether it's body image or their behaviors or where they are in life. And then we can unravel, you know, talking about shame is the first step to getting rid of shame. So having, having them hear themselves talk about it, is the beginning of their healing journey. And, honestly, the dam at that point, we have opened up the dam, enough to see the other, you know, the maybe the smaller blockages and obstacles. But it just kind of depends on what their journey looks like, and where they want to go. That's another thing too, is being clear about what they want and how they want to feel. And knowing that it's it, they don't have to rush through it. Because, you know, it's easy to get overwhelmed and impatient. And, you know, I had a client the other day who was not just overwhelmed, but she just felt, what was the word she used? She felt kind of desperate, right? Like, it's not happening soon enough. She wants to feel better right away. And, and that's, you know, that's that's a sign that there's a, there's a roadblock and often just unraveling in, asking more questions will help. And, you know, usually by the end of our session, that desperation is no longer there. Right? It's more clear why, like, what is causing this feeling, and then coming up with some simple solutions, some simple changes, is like, they feel they feel better right away.
Katelyn:
I often find it comes down to, and this is not a blanket statement, but just so many themes that pop up are around shame, unworthiness, and also safety as well, too. If you're really getting into the root of it- when do I not feel safe? What's keeping me safe? What you're describing, it sounds like this inner knowingness of feeling discontent and not necessarily knowing how to articulate it. Am I hearing you correctly, like in terms of just somebody who has some of these energy blockages that they're beginning to kind of recognize in themselves that would warrant?
Kit:
Yeah, and it's safety, it's also being able to be vulnerable with themselves. Right? Because I think that's as crazy as it sounds, we don't really want to know what we're thinking about ourselves. And it's much easier to find the problem, the cause of the problems as something outside of ourselves. So, for instance, and I hope this comes out, right, when we say that we have, you know, a negative relationship with food or body, it's really the relationship we have with ourselves. Because what we think about food, or what we think about our body is a chosen thought, right? Like we have been choosing and practicing those thoughts for a long time. So as hard as it is to acknowledge, it really is not a relationship with food, not the relationship with our body. It's the relationship with ourselves, and how we talk to ourselves and think about ourselves.
Katelyn:
That makes sense. It does make sense and I'm curious in your own journey, if you're comfortable sharing this, what are you able to identify now, that was blocking your own energetic flow in those moments of the restrict binge cycle or perhaps when you were coming into that group, that overeaters group you know, Even as far back to when you described seeing Glenn Close’s arms. That feeling that you had. What can you identify now that you've really done the work for yourself?
Kit:
Yeah. Okay, so this is big, this is big because I think we all have one or two main beliefs about ourselves that are not true. But that we keep because we continue to create evidence that we're right. Even if we don't like it, right, even if we know it's not completely true, and we don't like it. So mine is that I am not disciplined. And that has its own story, and a simple one. And it's that in third grade, I saw a school report that my mom had to fill out. And, you know, in Thai in her handwriting, I saw that in the blank section the the answer for is she, I, you know, again, it's a translation from Thai, but it's something like, is she organized or disciplined at home? And my mom wrote that I am not like that, you know, not organized or disciplined. And I remember being shocked and embarrassed and disappointed, like, the whole thing. I'm like, why not know? Is that true, first of all? And then if it's true, why are you not covering up for me? So that was just whatever my third grade self was thinking. But from that moment on, I made it mean that I wasn't disciplined. So I've spent my whole life Katelyn doing things to both prove myself right and wrong. My mom has no clue. I don't think she even remembers, like, or knows the story. So when I did the stop overeating program, and reached my weight goal. I was like, Yes, I just proved that I am disciplined. But then the brain is such that it still hangs on to that other belief, right? Like, but no, remember, we believe that we're not disciplined. So we'll create more evidence of that, and you know, completely unconsciously, and that's why hypnosis is so amazing, because we talk to the subconscious directly. But, so, if we just unmanage the brain and let it do what it does, it will default back to Okay, that's great, you know, you prove to yourself, but actually, you're actually not that disciplined. So that's, I think, a lot of the behaviors of overeating after that came from that, trying to create more evidence of that old belief. And I still, you know, I mean, there's still moments now and it's, you know, is it silly? Yes. But is it just how we all sort of operate? Yes. And it's good and bad, right? Because if I don't try to, like disprove that I'm not disciplined, then there'll be lots of like, I would never make my bed I wouldn't, you know, not have a successful business. And you know what I mean? So it's, it's an interesting quandary of, where do you want to put your energy basically. So when it comes to like, I now know that this whole discipline thing does not have any place in my food and body section of my life, because it was not a problem. Right? So when it became a problem, then of course, I superimpose this belief around discipline to it. And now it had its own monster time.
Katelyn:
Man this is great. And I'm, I'm curious now, how do you know when you're out of alignment, what are some signals that you can pick up on for yourself when you are perhaps leaning into this belief a little bit too much of the discipline that you've acknowledged is still a healthy part of life, but there's also an extreme to pay attention to and a belief there as well too.
Kit:
Yeah, I am much more in touch with just my energy field just like truly how am I feeling energetically and like going back to Evelyn's you know, are you pleasant, unpleasant or neutral? When it's unpleasant, when I'm feeling unpleasant, or when I am creating stories that are unpleasant, then I know I'm out of alignment. And I can have worked on this enough to know like, you know, which of these stories Am I believing right now? And I can choose not to write, I can choose to go? Well, that's what you think. But actually, I'm not going to believe that right now. So I am going to believe that I am very disciplined and or, or like, I don't care right now, if I'm disciplined or not, right, like right matter, right? Does not matter. So I think prioritizing what's important in that moment, or in that phase of life, like right now, you know, my kids are getting ready to be seniors in high school, and I want to prioritize my time with them, which is, I don't get very much but when I do I want to be present. So you know, discipline, not discipline, is that important? Right? At that moment? Probably not, right? I just want to be present. And if I'm feeling unpleasant at that moment, then why like, what what am I? What am I making up, what story and my following? So I'm trying to think of a recent example. You know, I have a son and daughter, they're twins. And, you know, occasionally I will feel kind of, I don't know, what's the right word kind of left out or unseen, especially by my daughter. Now she's 17. And she's much more interested in her friends and, and so I'll feel kind of down and, you know, poor me type moment. And when I feel that unpleasant, and then I have to really peel back and that's when I'm completely unaligned. But then I can notice what I'm thinking. And then she has no idea that I'm going through this whole drama in my own head, right? She's just being herself and living her life. And when I get to reframe, and go, Okay, so what do I actually want? I just want to have a pleasant time with her right now. Then it really doesn't matter what stories I was making up before. It's just like, I'm just, I'm just here. I'm present. And I love her. And she loves me. And from that place, usually, it's a different story.
Katelyn:
Yeah, I love that you're mentioning stories. And man, we are such good storytellers and mind readers, we you know, as human beings, especially in this culture, we have this just affinity for catastrophizing, things, or just creating these scenarios in our minds of what if versus what is, and I love how you describe what you actually want, and just breaking it down. And I always think of the story, when we are in these difficult moments as really zooming out, like a camera lens and taking into account what is actually true here? Why am I feeling this way? And really zooming into, like, you're saying, what do I actually want? What can I let go of right now? What can I get super clear on in this moment that is true and true for me and a desire that's, that's original, authentic for me. This also sounds like because you are so energetically aligned and in flow, it's giving you that permission and possibility to become more attune to these stories and scenarios that you're creating and dismantling them more powerfully as well, too.
Kit:
Yeah, it's taken time, lots of journaling, lots of self coaching and tuning into, you know, I call it the inner voice, inner inner guidance, and really talking to that part of you. And that's a whole other skill that I acquired. Also recently with the Jess Lively community, inner voice facilitation, that's really powerful, because that's the voice that nudges the voice that knows you more than anybody else. But it's also the voice that we tend to ignore because we like to believe in the stories, right? Whether it's our own or other people's stories, right. That's why diet culture is so successful. I mean, diet is really a way of eating that word itself. And we've created a monster out of it, when really, we're all very unique bodies needing different things, living in different phases of our lives, there is no one way, or even two or three ways of living a healthy, happy, peaceful life. Right. So it's, uh, yeah, we have to, like, decide on creating stories that we like, that we can believe in. And everything else is, you know, kind of like to the side, and we can borrow it and like, maybe put a little cherry on top of our own but, but the major, I can't believe I'm using cake as an analogy. But the main cake is our own story. Like, the sprinkles and the flowers on, you know, whatever that that we can borrow those things if we like them, if we if it adds to our own cake, right, if it adds to what helps us be and feel the best.
Katelyn:
I love this. And I also am curious, before we wrap up today about your own story, and what you've acknowledged in your story from this pretty significant cultural shift. Growing up in Thailand, like you said, and moving to the states when you were 12 years old. How did that contribute to your own body image story? And what are some things that you're really able to identify that stand out to you at this point in your life now that were helpful or harmful, however you want to share this for yourself? I'd love to hear.
Kit:
Yeah, it's something that's evolving. And I have nailed down some crucial things about what I need from me. And I think it might resonate with some other people too. But uniquely, for me, at this point in my life now that I've, you know, I'm turning 46 this year, and I'm still living away from, quote, unquote, home. I just want to feel at home all the time. And I want to be able to create that for myself. Inside and outside, I don't want to feel like I need anything in particular, to feel at home in my own being in my body, in my skin, in my surroundings. So I'm sort of at that place of not caring, but being very intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend my time with and what I do for myself to feel at home. So if it's food, I am going to eat foods that make me feel at home and at home to me means feeling good physically and emotionally. Like I don't mind emotionally eating, if it's gonna make me feel at home. But it's beyond home. If I overdo or you know, again, create stories around things that don't make me feel at home. So I'm just very intentional and aware of how I'm choosing to live now. And then, you know, as far as the body goes, this is something amazing that I discovered or listened to recently that this body is not actually mine. No, that's like a little Cuckoo. It's a body, right? It is here for this lifetime. It's like a car that was given to you to go places with to move about to get to experience life and have adventures and explore and be in connection with other people. But it's not ours really. Like nothing is ours where we know if we're talking back to energy, we're just all a ball of energy that floats about. We connect with some other energy, sometimes we go away, we attract, we repel, we. So if we detach ourselves from this body, and stop judging it and take care of it as a vehicle as something that allows us to experience life, then I think that it will make being with it a lot easier. And not being attached to what it's supposed to look like. But really, how can we take care of it so that it helps us feel as good and as at home as possible?
Katelyn:
So beautiful Kit. Do you feel like that's true for preserving cultural relevance around our bodies- where do you feel like there's an opportunity to celebrate? And also to what would you say, like dismantle some of some of that as well, too, when we do look at our bodies as a vehicle for living and exploring versus being attached to the world that we're, that we're in from a facade? Does that make sense- the question?
Kit:
I mean, I think that when we can detach from our body as ours, or expectations we have of it, then we dismantle cultures in general. Right? Like, they're just bodies just as there are different types and makes of cars, or dogs, right? You don't expect dogs to all look the same. That would be very boring. And if we just take away the breeds, the names and everything, they're, you know, we're we're supposed to be different. And yet, we're all the same. So yeah, it's, it's the dismantling, and I love the Intuitive Eating principle of just taking away all the labels, right? Like, yes, there's no good, there's no bad, it's just you get to choose. So when it comes to bodies, unfortunately, we didn't choose this body. It chose us for some reason, but we get to choose how to take care of it. And you can choose what culture you mean, create your own culture, right? Like create your own style, your what feels good, find people with like minded understandings and beliefs and create a community around that I do really believe that we're the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So choose wisely. And love, love your body, but not because it's your body, but just love it because we take good care of the things that we love. Right? So love it, but it's not because it's your body, but because you get to choose to love it.
Katelyn:
Yes, yes, absolutely could not agree more. This is fabulous. I feel so inspired and just so appreciative of your vulnerability and just showing up unapologetically and sharing your own story and the honesty and expertise that you brought to our conversation today. Where can everybody connect with you and work with you and just get into your world?
Kit:
No, thank you. This has been so fun and I am really honored to be on the podcast. I am at kityoon.com, that's the website. And pretty much everything is on there. I have a podcast that's been on a pause but there are a bunch of episodes you can listen to. There's a blog with recipes and stories and fun things and then I am on Instagram as @kit_yoon and you know I'm on Facebook and all the things too but yeah, the best way to connect is probably right now Instagram message me. Say hi and I will Say hi back.
Katelyn:
Love. Thank you so much, Kit. I appreciate you.
Kit:
You are so welcome.And thank you for doing everything you are doing in the world. We need more of you for sure.