Episode 117: Part 1 of The Curvy Surfer Girl Journey With Elizabeth Sneed
In this episode we sit down with... Elizabeth Sneed.
Elizabeth is the visionary and pioneer of the Curvy Surfer Girl movement. A self-described women's advocate, social change leader, entrepreneur, surfer, model, and environmentalist. Her goal is to continue building a community of women worldwide to share the stoke of surfing while encouraging women to pursue their dreams by diving deeper into their individual power through self-love and confidence.
In this conversation we talk about:
Elizabeth’s personal body image story-growing up in severe poverty and seeing her body as purely a vessel of survival
Her journey leading up to the current chapter in life of falling in love with surfing and living in Hawaii
The benefit of mentors and an intentionally connected community
Mental struggles with what an athlete "should" physically look like
Having faith and trusting the timing of your life
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TRANSCRIPTION Episode 117: Part 1 of The Curvy Surfer Girl Journey With Elizabeth Sneed
Katelyn:
All right, Elizabeth Sneed. Hi, welcome to our little family.
Elizabeth:
Aloha, Katelyn, and I'm so stoked to be here with you and your audience and experience the joy of this conversation.
Katelyn:
Okay, tell us why you just said Aloha.
Elizabeth:
So aloha is the greeting of love and philosophy of the Hawaiian Islands and the Hawaiian people. And we say it every day here. It's a real term of endearment that we all use,
Katelyn:
Meaning that you live in Hawaii. So Elizabeth is with us all the way from Hawaii. And we're gonna get into that in her story today. But I'm so grateful that you're here. And I can't wait to learn more about you and your mission and your movement that you've created. So let's start with your story. The first question that we ask everybody on the show is your first body awareness moment. So for you, what did that look like that moment where you realized, I'm in a body? Apparently, this means something in the world that I'm living in good, bad, indifferent? What did that moment look like for you? And also, how does that shape your relationship with your body and or food moving forward?
Elizabeth:
Well, I was born and raised in northeast Texas, and I was out in the middle of nowhere, I was like, two hours from Louisiana. And I grew up in you know, in this vast countryside, and so oftentimes, I was out in nature as a little girl. And, you know, I think my first memories of myself really began at age three, I remember, you know, riding my bike and playing on the tire swaying, and I loved dogs, I've always love dogs, and my, you know, in the, in the country, in Texas, we all have strays that run up, and I just remember, you know, one of my first memories actually being with my dog, Blackie where I would lean on him to learn how to walk. And just going out and exploring. And then, you know, of course, many people know this that have followed me for some time, but like, I was a child abuse survivor, and I was always very aware of my body just because of the physical abuse that I went through. And then you know, food of course, in the south is a huge part of everyone's identity. And there's also an identity around you know, poverty, right so like I grew up in pretty severe poverty and I think we're, you know, if you grew up in that lifestyle you're familiar with like the Vienna weenies and the bologna sandwiches and just kind of having like that limitation around food and food being more of like a survival thing rather than something that you know, you sit down and a middle class family to enjoy and bond over. So those were like some of my earliest memories around body awareness and food and just you know, coming into consciousness as a young person.
Katelyn:
So I'm curious how that shaped your relationship with yourself and how you felt about being in your body and as a child abuse survivor and also living in a situation where you were with that scarcity so often. What what came up for you just in terms of how you felt about yourself as an individual?
Elizabeth:
I hated myself for the majority of my life I mean, this could even be as recently as like the lat you know, within five years ago you know, when you grow up as a child abuse survivor and you're experiencing violence is a daily part of your life and hateful messages. You know, you begin to feel just completely unworthy unlovable and you just you know, you question everything about your existence really because why were you brought here to be hated and despised by the very people that created you. And I also developed into like this intense people pleasing personality and this drive for success because you know, if I could make my teachers happy than that can be a source of validation and love and acceptance for me. And so a lot of my identity was really surrounded in achievement that that goal oriented achievement mindset because that was how I could receive positive affirmations and just a sense of not being worthless really. I never necessarily struggled with like my image in my body because my body was more of a vessel of survival than it was of anything else. And I've talked about this a little bit and curvy surfer girl how, you know, I haven't really defined my body in the sense of its beauty or, or societal value in that aspect. I've always viewed it as, you know, a tool for me to use to accomplish goals. And that was really what fueled me, and probably on some subliminal levels still does, to achieve things, so in my mind, you know, my body was my vessel to go out and be an athlete, it was the vessel that I had to perform well, in academia, it was the vessel that I use to communicate with others so that I could get out of the situation. And that mentality around my body continued into my adult years, whether I was aware of it or not. So while I always felt like I had some sense of physical beauty, I never really was hyper focused on it just because of the environment that I grew up in.
Katelyn:
Yeah, yeah. It's so interesting. And I, I think it's so fascinating how you brought in survival, because, God, what a primal, what a primal thing that we all experience on some level. And it's so intrinsically shaped by our environments, as well, too. And so, for you and your lived experience, it makes so much sense, using coping tools, like people pleasing and achievement, and some of these perfectionistic tendencies coming through, just out of pure survival of I need to, I need to get out of this circumstance, I need to move forward. Or perhaps to not experience that pain or discomfort as well, too. So that makes so much sense. How did you get out of it? And how did you even get to this chapter in your life now where you're living in Hawaii, and all of these amazing things, does that correlate at all with your just next chapter?
Elizabeth:
It does. I mean, everything that happened to me has led up to the present version of who you're speaking to, even, you know, the child abuse and stuff a lot. I mean, I recently discovered before I moved to Hawaii, actually, so probably closer like six or seven years ago, I was listening to an NPR radio interview. And there's this study that's been conducted over the last 50 years called ACE, which is adverse childhood experiences. And if people score above a certain number on ace, which is related to these adverse experiences, then you are then on a physiological and psychologically different playing field from people who did not score above a certain number. I think we all have layers of trauma, no one gets to adulthood without it. But they talk about how our bodies, our brains, our adrenal glands, our nervous system, is intrinsically different and shaped from those experiences. And I think that that is what there's, there's now research evidence that states significant childhood adverse experience says will lead to autoimmune conditions, which is now what I struggle with, I have a very severe form of psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. And I think that a lot of that plays into how I ended up gaining weight, it was not something that I ever anticipated would happen, and I never thought I would end up with an autoimmune disease or more than one even. But, you know, with all of that being said, it also shaped me and prepared me to be a very empathetic, compassionate person. And it also gave me this drive right to get out of that situation. And the way I got out of it, to answer your question, it wasn't by my own choice, although I had attempted to previously. My biological mom actually had a total freak out and decided to physically abused me in front of the CPS child workers. And as she was beating me, in my front yard, in front of the child protective services, they called a judge and got a court order for me to be removed immediately. Because they, you know, pretty much could conclude that my life was in danger. So that began the process of going through shelters and foster homes for the next couple years of my life. And then, eventually, my extraordinary aunt and uncle who actually never had children decided to step in it And they adopted me and took me to Arizona where I started high school. And I went from high school to college at Arizona State University, graduated there. And in the midst of that experience, you know, one of the things that I had really wanted to do even from childhood, there were three places in the world I really wanted to see it was New York, Hawaii and Alaska. And I still haven't got to see New York in Alaska yet, but I did manage to get to Hawaii on a spring break. And it changed my life. It was the happiest I had ever been. It was the most beautiful place that I My eyes have ever seen. And it just felt intrinsically like home to me. And, you know, I mean, I grew up in places that were not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. And we were talking, I'd never even seen a mountain before I was a teenager, I didn't really know mountains existed, like you see pictures of them and stuff, you're like, does that really exist? So coming to Hawaii and experiencing all of that beauty and majesty and then being introduced to surfing on that trip. And really, just for the first time, I think in my life, experiencing that level of bliss, it changed me forever. And I knew that this is where I wanted to call home for the rest of my life. And I worked for five years to make that possible. And all my stars align so so I came here in 2017 and started living my actual dream.
Katelyn:
Amazing. So just to be clear, you went to Hawaii first. On a spring break, trip and college, right? You were at Arizona State University, went to Hawaii, my mind was blown, grabbed a surfboard. Tell me about your first surfing experience. What was that like?
Elizabeth:
Oh, it was pure magic. I mean, so once again, if you followed curvy surfer girl, you'll know that when I was a young teenager, I was about 14, I went to Alabama, when Hurricane Katrina had happened to help with the relief efforts for the cleanups. And so this was around 2005. And I ended up getting pulled out in the ocean in the Gulf. And a severe Riptide and was lost at sea for several hours actually witnessed someone around my age and other teenager drown. And I didn't think that I was ever going to make it out of that situation. So I ended up surviving, because there were four of us total, there were four girls, I was one of them. A fisherman found us off the pier, and, you know, helped us get back into shore. And if it wasn't for him, I don't know if I would be here telling you this story today. So I had a lot of severe trauma around the ocean. And I was actually really terrified of it. I never went more than like, ankle deep. And I would shake and you know, just to trauma response. I was terrified of Emily. So when I was in Hawaii, I really did not. I mean, this is years later, right. So that happened when I was 14. And now I was 21. So, you know, about seven years had gone by but I still was just terrified of the ocean. But while I was in Hawaii, I had this like, the best way I can describe it as it was like a magnetic pool within my body in my chest that was just drawing me to the ocean. And I was trying to resist it because I was so scared of the ocean. But it was something that I really just couldn't resist. And so I thought to myself, I'm like, okay, if I'm having this intense sensation and desire to go to the ocean, how can I do it in a way that will be the safest experience for me. And I thought surfing, right, it looked super fun. There's like so much pop culture around surfing and I knew what it was, you know, and it seemed like something I would really enjoy doing. But on the practical level, I was like okay, let's think about this right we'll have a surf instructor. So this is a person who could rescue us in a traumatic situation. And then I have a surfboard if somehow the ocean does pull me out into its abyss, I can at least float. Because you know, when I was trapped out there, it was just me with no flotation device. So I was trying to analyze this from multiple perspectives. I'm like, Okay, if I go into the ocean, how am I going to like maximize my safety and my ability to like, enjoy the experience. And I walked down to the beach, like every day that I was there, and I think it was like the second or third day I walked down to the beach. And I just decided to go for it. And there were the Waikiki Beach Boys, which are a legacy of Hawaii. They've been around since the first tourists started coming in, you know, the turn of the century 1900s And their whole purpose and mission is just to help people will have positive, you know, experiences in the water, whether it's surfing or canoe paddling or any of the other activities you can do Katelyn:
That's so amazing that that was there for you, in particular, having this experience in the ocean before and honestly, like going on spring break to this place and having like these angels around you, it sounds like to guide you to the water. That's so cool. Okay.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, I mean, it was. It's true, though. I mean, it definitely felt the whole, my whole experience in Hawaii has felt very much like divinely guided and protected experience. And, and all of the timing of everything has been miraculous since the day I showed up here. So I do acknowledge that it's a real phenomenon that I know, it might sound woowoo, but it was very real. And so I got partnered up with this local man, and, you know, he had been in the ocean his entire life, he was middle aged, and I was like, okay, you know, we're gonna do this. And I was shaking and scared. And he was making me laugh. And, you know, he was like, he got me out there on the surfboard. And we're a little ways into the water by this point. He was like, So do you know how to swim? And I'm like, Oh, no. I'm like, I'm, I can doggy paddle. And he was like, Okay, we'll get off your board and show me. And I'm like, Well, do I like I started panicking. And he was like, no, come on, get off your board. And so I was so scared, I got off my board, and I could touch. He was like, he was like, Look, you don't have anything to worry about sweetheart. And so then we go out to the break, and he pushes me into my first wave. And to this day, I can still remember. I mean, it was pure joy, and bliss. And I don't think I've ever been any closer to Heaven. In that moment in my life. It was just, it was a moment that really, like forever changed me, as you can tell, like, I never went back to not having that moment. You know what I mean? It stayed with me for the rest of my life and changed my life. Yeah. So that was my first experience surfing, it was amazing.
Katelyn:
It sounds amazing. And I love this story so much, because I feel like it is such a clear metaphor for life. What I'm really hearing you say Elizabeth is trusting this intuition, intuition that's coming through, like when you mentioned that you just felt pulled to the ocean. And really listening to that, which I think every single person here today can relate to, in some way, that inner voice that's like, this doesn't make sense. But we've got to do it and just listening to that, and then how you intentionally chose to pause and decide what's going to help you move forward and feel safe moving forward. Because I think that's where so much so many of us get tripped up, or we hear that voice and we're like, oh God, like, that's so unrealistic, or that's so scary, or I would never do that. Or how could I do that. And we kind of just move on with our day. And this is so cool, because this is a clear example of you listening to it. And then taking a moment to really decide how you want to move forward and what you would need to actually feel safe moving forward, step after step after step. It doesn't sound like you were like, Oh, I'm feeling this calling, even though I've had this trauma. So I'll just grab a board and go, you were really intentional with creating that safety for yourself to be able to get in the water and get on the board and stand up. And so I think that is something that can be applied to so many parts of life if we allow it to.
Elizabeth:
So absolutely surfing is transcendental. I always say that. I mean, if you've ever watched Point Break the original with oh my god, you know, with Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves and Bodie goes, bro, like surfing is the source. There really is some truth to that. Like, there is this kind of Source consciousness connected to surfing in the ocean. And you really can pull so many metaphors and anecdotes from a surfers experience in life into so many other things. It's remarkable, honestly,
Katelyn:
It's so cool. So this was Spring Break in college. How did you actually get back to Hawaii when you were there? You mentioned that you just kind of felt this deep connection to being in Hawaii. So how did that change the course of where you felt like you were heading in life and just your desire to get to Hawaii? How did you make it happen? What was the timeline like all of the things?
Elizabeth:
Well, let me tell you, it was extremely disruptive because I thought, truly, it was probably like the most, at the time, like unrealistic thing that I could have ever put in my mind. I was living in Arizona, I was studying for a degree in foreign policy and French, I, you know, I had three years of college ahead of me that I had to complete. So my life ended up taking a lot of twists and turns, I ended up living in Switzerland and studying French, I got to go to the United Nations, I got to do some really awesome things there. I came back, I wanted to specialize in US foreign policy. So then I moved to Washington, DC. And I began the journey of studying foreign policy and interacting, as, you know, like an intern, lobbyist for a big boutique lobbying firm over there. And then, you know, I came back to Arizona, I graduated, I had to start getting on a career track, I started working for some, you know, really large political campaigns and structures in the state. And I was doing really well. But, you know, meanwhile, I never could stop thinking about Hawaii. And I was just like, How has my life unfolded in a way where this just pretty much in my mind, like, couldn't happen. And I was really sad about it, you know, I would go, my whole Instagram was just filled with Hawaii accounts. And I would cry about it. And, you know, like, all I wanted to do was get back there. And it took five years of really, like, disruptive, hoping, praying, wishing, dreaming, crying, pleading, and begging with anything out there to take me back to that space. And none of it really even made any sense. It's like, well, how does somebody that's really destined for a career track in Washington, DC for foreign policy and diplomacy end up with any kind of a career in Hawaii, that would be sustainable. And so I had to go through a bit of like a rebranding, and, you know, to get a job in Hawaii, because I couldn't just move there with nothing. And I had a long relationship with my boyfriend at the time, who was exceptionally supportive of me, and really made a lot of sacrifices to help bring this dream into reality for me. So I started looking, and eventually I did secure a position. And I started the process of moving, I found all of the right people and places and really, like literally, everything fell into place. And I kind of believe that the island itself has its own form of consciousness, like, if you're meant to be here, you'll be here, doors will open things will happen, the unexplainable will unfold. And if you're not, it doesn't, you know, and so it's something that I've seen happen in a lot of people's lives, or maybe people get here, but they don't end up staying here for very long. And, I mean, it does sound a little bit mystical. But I think that there's some truth to it. Like, if you're meant to be where you're meant to be, things will happen for you to be in that space. And for me, it was Hawaii, but for someone else, it might be California, it could be Florida, could be Puerto Rico, it could be anywhere in the world. You know, when you have this knowing and yourself that you belong somewhere. It's undeniable. It's unshakable. There's this belief and faith in you that guides you to these places that you're supposed to be in the world.
Katelyn:
I mean, I can relate on a personal level. I have a very similar experience coming to California and my husband and I deciding to move out here. I can't remember ever going to a place feeling so connected almost like just this knowingness of you have to be here. I had never felt that strong of a pole anywhere in my life. And I totally agree. I think that that looks different for everybody. And sometimes that's not geographic sometimes. That is career sometimes that is a relationship sometimes. You know, it's deciding to not do something it's just really paying attention to those really loud intuitive moments in life and not asking questions because similarly to you when the moment we decided we were moving here is the best way I can describe it. It was like I felt like I was in an inner tube just flowing down a river I was just like, how is this so easy, like everything is just opening up it is wild how easy this is and how free and fun It feels. And I also think that there's so much truth in both of our stories around that and acknowledging cool, how can we look for more light? You know? So how, how did you make that transition to Hawaii? And did you start curvy surfer girl right away? How did that how did the brand evolve?
Elizabeth:
Well, you got to remember right, I was landlocked my whole life growing up in northeast Texas and then spending 10 years in Arizona. I had, I mean, virtually no ocean experience with a few exceptions in between with the experience in the golf and a couple of trips to California when I was you know, like, through high school in college. I mean, really like that was it I, I didn't know anything about the ocean about living on an island. Everything had to be learned from the day that I stepped foot on the island. And so that was a process right, I started working this nine to five job as an executive assistant which to tell you the truth, I was not made to be an executive assistant. I think that was very apparent to everybody that Elizabeth Sneed was not an executive assistant. Hey, sometimes it's good to know what you're not. There was, there was definitely a lot of things I wasn't and I was trying to force myself to be. But you know, what, it was the opportunity that opened the door to be in Hawaii, and I'll forever and always be grateful for it, and the people that, you know, took the chance to bring someone from so far away into the organization. And you know, that's where I started. And I made I Okay, from like, literally, this is like a pretty quintessential part of my life here. So I walk into the doors of my new job. And there's this incredibly beautiful, sweet little Hawaiian Auntie that greets everybody. And she's been at the organization for like, over 30 years. And her presence, her aura, her everything is just incredible. So from the moment I met her, I loved her. And she and her best friend that also worked there, became like, my whole universe. And I told them, like, all my hopes and dreams and shared this, like overflowing enthusiasm for being in Hawaii. And, you know, just the gratitude that I had every day, you know, to just wake up in my literal version of heaven. And so I told them, I said, you know, I really want to learn how to surf. But there's some limitations, right? Surf instruction is very expensive, especially if you don't have someone that's teaching local people, because a lot of surf instruction is geared towards tourism, you know, people that are here for days or weeks at a time. And so it's like, $150, a lesson. And that wasn't reasonable on a little salary that I had. And so I told them that I said, you know, I had this traumatic experience, and I need somebody to guide me and mentor me and teach me and I don't know where how to find that. And so both of them had like this little mission to help find me a way to learn how to surf. And so I had been here for like, two or three months, I got here in May. And in August, my auntie opened up the newspaper and there was a cover story about Ohana surf project having a locals only surf program. And it was really like the only one in the Hawaiian islands that I have even been aware of at that time. There may be more now but definitely five years ago, it was the only one I was aware of that was even doing this. And they made it affordable and accessible to learn how to surf. So for $45 a lesson, you know, you could take as many lessons as you wanted until you reached your goal of learning how to surf. And so in true Elizabeth fashion, I literally sprinted to their location, which is a Mercedes Sprinter van on the beach. I, you know, like enthusiastically walk up to the van and asked for the person that was written in the ad which was Chelsea. And I'm like, Excuse me, I'm in my work nine to five get literal and buttoned up in a pencil skirt, like walking up to a surfer Sprinter van. And it's like, Excuse me, I'm looking for Chelsey Lewis of ohana surf project. May I speak to her please. And Chelsea comes out in her swimsuit. \She comes out in her swimsuit. And she's a, she's both like, at the same time, a no nonsense person, but also has this like really cool swagger to her. And so she walks out and she's like, Yeah, how can I help you? And I'm like, I was so serious, because I thought no one was gonna take me seriously. I was like, Yes, I am here because I want to learn how to surf. And I understand I brought my ad and everything. I'm like, I understand you have this program here and you teach locals. And I would like to sign up for this. And I said, I just want you to know that I am going to learn how to surf. Okay, like, this is a serious endeavor. For me. It's a life goal. And I want to be out here as much as possible, how many? What's my limitation? Like, how many surf sessions can I have, because like, I'm so serious about this. And she was like, Yo, like, calm down lady. She was like, we'll teach you how to surf, like, you don't have to be so you know, like, intense about this. And I kind of got the vibe that she did not like me. And I was like, great, you know, like, now I'm going to be at the surf school with this person who doesn't even like me, she probably thinks I'm crazy, because I was too intense about it. Chelsea ends up changing my entire life. Chelsea to this day is my hero. I mean, it's sometimes even hard to talk about because in my whole life of experiences, I have never met somebody as extraordinary as she is on both a physical capability level as well as like, just the wisdom that pours out of this person out of her. And the the level of gift that she has to transmit surfing, to really anybody that wants to do it is something that I admire to this day, I really have never met another woman like Chelsea, and there's been many times that we've been surfing that I look over at her and she almost seems like an otherworldly being like she's this blond haired, you know, like pale, she's tan, but you know, she's light. And so her skin got freckled from all of the sun. And, you know, like, one day we were sitting in the rain in the surf. And I looked over at her, and she literally looked like something out of a fairy tale that had come to life. And she's just like, the most magical person ever. And she was the one who guided me through all of the very intense experiences that it took to learn how to surf, especially as someone who went through such a traumatic experience in the ocean and has had, you know, zero experience in that space. So, I have so much gratitude for her.
Katelyn:
That is amazing, Elizabeth. And it's, it's kind of like that old adage, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And you're ready, it sounds like maybe too ready? I don't think so. I think that's amazing. But you know, clearly, that's just a testament to your excitement and how you weren't gonna let anything hold you back once you found that. And it's so cool. I mean, it's just, man, I'm such a big believer in mentors and finding mentors that you connect with in really meaningful ways. And it sounds like that is what Chelsea was for you where it wasn't just as a certain still, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure not just a surf instructor, and not just a school, you know, a school educator or whatnot. But it sounds like she's had a profound effect on your life, which is not by accident at all. And it's, it's so cool. So tell me how you started curvy surfer girl, and like, where did that idea come from? And how far into your surfing career did that idea come up for you?
Elizabeth:
So when I first started surfing, I was at my heaviest. And this was a result of numerous things. As I mentioned before, this all kind of comes back. It's all full circle, right? I have this severe autoimmune disease. And I was living in Arizona, which I was exposed to countless environmental toxins and allergies that just had accumulated and accumulated and really contributed to more additional inflammation and then I developed food allergies when I was around like my I was 19 when I got diagnosed with my first food allergy. So all of these things had just compiled and compiled and not to mention extraordinary amounts of stress from trying to figure out where my career was going and going through periods of unemployment. Even before I'd come to Hawaii, I, you know, it was very hard this, this whole, our generation in particular has had a very difficult time after, you know, college trying to secure long term careers in positions because the, you know, economy has been so unstable since we all graduated. And then we just go through another pandemic, right, so we're going through all these things. And I was experiencing that even before I came to Hawaii. So all of these factors kind of contributed, and I was at my heaviest. And I really didn't know if it was possible for me to surf at the weight that I was at. Because I grew up as an athlete, I was like a four or five sport athlete, I did track and field volleyball, dance, basketball, you name it, I was involved in it, I also did martial arts through college. And I, for the most part, fit the traditional narrative of what an athlete should look like, right, according to broader societal expectations, I was lean, I was strong, I could do all the things I needed to do. But then, you know, after I started going through this weight gain, that really I had no control over. It, everything changed. And I kind of struggled with this identity component of, you know, to be an athlete, you need to be lean. And there, you know, people that looked, the way I looked, just were never represented as athletes, even if they existed, they just, you know, they existed in far corners that I had no awareness of. And so I kind of went into surfing with this body consciousness that, you know, I needed to lose at least 60 or 70 pounds before I could really be a surfer. And my thought process was, you know, nothing's going to stop me from learning how to surf. But my pursuits need to be equally met with the need to lose weight, so that I could fit into the archetype of being an athlete of being a female surfer. And Chelsey helped me overcome a lot of that, especially in the beginning, because I really didn't know you know, if the reason why I was struggling was related to being overweight. And she consistently assured me that as long as you keep showing up, I don't care what you look like, you will learn how to surf, the only thing you have to do is show up every time you're scheduled to go surfing, and we will make sure that you learn. And so I kept focused on that I said, Okay, you know, like, she's an expert, if I just listened to her, doesn't matter what I look like, she would, you know, reinforce like, you will get stronger that every session with each stroke of the paddle, you know, you will grow stronger, and your body will adapt, and you will be able to serve. And so I stayed focused on that. And then my body just from like, being so happy, honestly, I mean, I really did not do anything else. Just from being happy, I naturally started losing weight, and I got down to a size six, eight. And I thought I had arrived. I was like, Okay, this is what a quote unquote, surfer looks like. And I found kind of like all of that acceptance from a societal expectation that I had been searching for, since I'd started my surfing journey. And so, with that being said, it was temporary. You know, our bodies are constantly changing and shifting. And unfortunately, the autoimmune disease and the stress of life made a pretty big comeback. And I gained a lot of weight back. And I wasn't quite at my original starting point, but I wasn't drastically far off from it either. And I went back into this self loathing space, where I felt like everything that I had accomplished up to that moment was for nothing, because now it's even hard to talk about it was like, now I can't be an athlete, you know, and all I wanted to do was really prove to myself that I was an athlete and that I was a surfer. And so I kind of felt like at that moment that everything I had done was for nothing. Because I've put all this weight back on And, sadly, there was nothing I could really do. You know, a lot of people would talk about, well, if you did this, or if you did this, you know, you could get back down to the size that you were. But you know, when you're struggling with an autoimmune disease, and you have to take medicine, not only, you know, just to manage the disease, but to like, keep living, right. I mean, if you're not on the medicine, you could potentially have like heart failure or other things because of the inflammation. That was really hard, you know, I couldn't stop doing that. And so I struggled with that for a while for a while, you know, it was it was over a couple of years that I struggled with that and so we're, we were approaching, like year three at this point of my surf career and my surf journey. And now I'm in this bigger body. And of course, I didn't stop surfing, because at no point was I going to ever stop doing it. But there was just this sense of like, not belonging. And I really wanted to have that feeling of belonging in the community that I loved. And I was also a free diver. And I was always the heaviest girl, always in the ocean with everybody that I was going out with. And you know, for the most part, like, I would joke it off, right, I would talk about like, you know, you can't miss me in the water, because I've got the biggest butt or whatever, right. And don't get me wrong, like, I knew that I was a strong person, like, I could out swim, I could dive, I could surf, I could do all of these amazing things. But I still felt inferior to everyone else around me, because I was the odd one out. And it's funny, because on another interview with a journalist, I had actually forgotten completely about this, because it was years ago. But when I first started freediving, I couldn't fit into a wetsuit, because what suits are only manufactured up to a women's size 14. And I was a women size 18 at the time. So when I first started freediving in Hawaii, I had to freedive in bikinis. And when you're out in the ocean for two to four hours in the middle of winter, and why it doesn't matter if the water is quote unquote, warm, eventually the water temperature is lower than your body temperature. So you do become hypothermic. But I love being in the ocean so much that I would deal with you know, my body uncontrollably shaking and shivering, just so that I could participate in the same experiences. And I kind of developed this consciousness that this was all punishment, for being overweight and wanting to participate in these types of activities. And if you wanted to participate in these activities, the only way that you were really going to be accepted in these worlds was to be a smaller person and a smaller body. And because my body couldn't really get to that point, as I mentioned, because I more or less had this medical condition that was causing all of this weight gain and inflammation and things happening. I just had to accept that this was the fate that I was dealt, these were the cards, and it's sad and unfortunate. But you know, you just have to be stronger than the situation because the world you know, wasn't this world that you're in the ocean world wasn't built for women like you to be in it. And if you're going to participate in it, you're just going to have to deal with the consequences. And that means you look different from everybody else, you don't get to wear the same things as everybody else. And you have to suffer more than everybody else. And so I just accepted it. I mean, there was really no questioning it. And by year three of going through this right, in surfing and in freediving. I don't know when or exactly how it happened. But I had started following a lot of body positive women on Instagram. And I started becoming aware of this space. Whereas before, I was only following women that I wanted to look like women that were really just the epitome of what it meant to be strong, beautiful and perfect. As far as the social media universe was concerned. And I was subscribing to like Shape magazine and Fitness magazine and all of these media forms that we're reinforcing. If you're not this, then you're not accepted, especially in the athletic world is especially in that universe. So I finally I don't know how but I started breaking out of that and I actually attribute a lot of that to my best friend Kiani because Kiani was the one who you know, I met her at a body positive shoot here in Hawaii. The first year I was living here And she was the one who really started opening my eyes to an alternative concept of like not having to lose weight to be an athlete. And that was something really revolutionary for me, because those two things did not exist in the same space, they were mutually exclusive, like, looking like me, does not equate to being an athlete, you know? And so she was the first person who was really like, Who told you that? Who has convinced you of that? Why are you so stuck on that she was like, you know, you are an athlete, Elizabeth, you can surf, you can freedive you can go and do things that literally 99% of the population will never be able to do choose, like, you just dove almost 100 feet in the ocean on one single breath, and you swam out over a mile for four hours. She was like, I don't even know people who can do that. And she's like you're doing that you're living the life of an athlete, regardless of what you look like. And she was the first person that really ever sat me down and told me that and so she kind of started explaining, like what body positivity was, and we started exploring this concept more and more together. And I got on Instagram, and I started finding more and more body positive influencers and advocates and I started seeing people in my body for the first time. And I thought they were beautiful. And I didn't even know I could think people in my body type were beautiful. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. Like, there's really a person that looks like me. And they're breathtaking. And I look like them. And it blew open my entire consciousness. But it still took time for even me to process that because I started doing that in like, you know, probably year two and a half year three of my surfing career. So even with the body positive movement happening, and subscribing to it, and being, you know, privy to all of these things, I still had this deep belief that it was still exclusionary, to athletic spaces, because even in the body positive movement. You know, five years ago, we were not really seeing women in athletic spaces. We were seeing a lot of women in fashion spaces which needed to be done. But it just never connected. You know, in my mind that body positivity can also exist in the athletic space. And it was in year three of my surfing career, I'm going on your five this year. So it was in year three, that the connection happened. And I was like, Wait a second. Like it was really an out of body moment. I was like, Wait a second. I don't need to lose weight to do what I love. The industry around me needs to change to include me in it. That thought never ever occurred to me it was literally like experiencing a revolution. In my own mind. I was like, Wait a second, like, I don't need to keep conforming to try to fit into their aesthetic, their expectations, their limitations of what an athlete is like, why can't they just make some bigger sizes, and allow me to do what I'm already doing. And that moment was followed up by a Instagram photo that really solidified the entire thing. And that was a photo of Keena green holding a surfboard. And she's a plus size athlete and fitness coach. And I had never, ever in my life seen a plus size woman holding a surfboard. Like did not dawned on me ever. That was even a thing that was possible. I just didn't even think there was anyone else out there like me doing any kind of ocean athletic things and a body like mine. And so when I saw that, that was the moment of like divine transmittance where I actually saw curvy surfer girl flash before the screen of my consciousness. And I knew at that moment, that's what I needed to do. That was going to be my gift to women surfing. Oh, I did it and it was a gamble but here we are today it worked.
Katelyn:
Thank God, how did you do it?
Elizabeth:
Well, lots of strategy. Lots and lots and lots of strategies like the behind the scenes
Katelyn:
First of all, before we move into this chapter, I just want to, I just want to express so much gratitude for your truth. And to just let you know that I see you and I appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty in your own personal lived experience. And I, I know that so many people are going to hear this and feel so seen and so hurt and so inspired and so validated and their own experiences. And there are so many themes that are coming up in this part of your story that are so interesting, Elizabeth, like, I was like getting chills the entire time that you were telling me this, but it is, you're, you're just remarkable like it, it's so humbling also to hear people's stories. And also. So Elizabeth and I are looking at each other right now we're on video, and getting to know your story from the very beginning. It's just like, wow, watching that inner child come up watching that perfectionism, and that people pleasing, and that achieving and different parts and how it's out of its out of fear of what you were trying to protect yourself around when you were a kid. And that still shows up. I mean, this shows up for everybody, but it was so beautiful hearing that in your story. And then also my god like community, yes. Like I think this is one of the main challenges in body image work is being exposed to a culture that's telling us, we have to fit in this one way, not being passed down and reinforced generation after generation. And feeling like we're not a part of that community if we're not that way. And that on a primal level, I mean, that's so disruptive, that immediately goes into that fear part of our brain of like, Oh, my God, I'm gonna get kicked out of the tribe, if I'm not this way, right. And then your insight into just keeping open to things changing and recognizing how you could expose yourself to other bodies. I mean, I'm a big believer in exposure therapy, just in general, I think that it's so affirming. And it's so validating, and it is a way to just connect us and neutralize just situations in so many different ways. And so, for you, I mean, what a powerful exercise to really recognize, wow, these are the things that are making me feel like I don't fit in, in this culture, and how can I find the people that reaffirm me, or that just kind of neutralize the emotions happening here, so that I can decide for myself how I want to feel in the situation. So it's, oh my god, it's so incredible hearing your story. And I just I appreciate you sharing all of that. So cool.
Elizabeth:
Well, thank you for giving me you know, an opportunity and being such an amazing facilitator for this conversation. I'm really just a reflection of the hosts, you know, and their thoughtfulness and the questions. So thank you.
Katelyn:
We're not done yet. I have a couple more questions.
Elizabeth:
No, I just, I just wanted to express that gratitude.
Katelyn:
No, I received. Thank you. Thank you so much. This is super fun. So I'm dying to hear about the backstory of curvy surfer girl and just kind of let this community into that as well, too, because I think this is the fun part of our stories when they kind of intersect with our businesses and everything and our mission and our purpose and all of these things. So you have this amazing idea. It flashes before your consciousness. And then what?
Elizabeth:
So you got to start with me where I was. So I had just lost my job from the pandemic.
Katelyn:
Alright, so where can I ask a question about that real quick? So before while you were starting your surfing career, the first three to five years? Were you still an executive assistant? What kind of job were you working during that time?
Elizabeth:
Yeah, so that is a great question. So I was at that role for a year before the company started having tremendous financial challenges. They didn't quite go out of business, but they let 90% of their staff go and I was one of the first they had to let go. So going into 2018, which was my second year in Hawaii. I was unemployed. I had to start driving Uber to survive and I was constantly applying for jobs that I was like, the I was the top one or two candidate and every interview that I had been doing, but was never selected. And this went on for eighteen months of my life, where I was just in constantly, once again, a state of like poverty and a state of survival. And I really had worked so hard in my life to be successful. So to be back in that situation was extremely, especially like, psychologically detrimental to me. And I ended up doing something that is really wild. I don't know if I have time to tell this story. But this is like a pretty milestone moment in my life that leads up to curvy surfer girl,
Katelyn:
no, you have to tell it.
Elizabeth:
Um, so in 2018, I ended up developing like really severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks, I had never had panic attacks or anxiety before this period of my life, even with all of the trauma that I had gone through. Never had that. But, you know, trying to live in Hawaii driving Uber. It's, trust me, it's not an easy thing.
Katelyn:
Okay. It was, it's probably beautiful. But yes, I can't imagine.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, no, I mean, when you're in a car for 12 hours a day, and that's your job. And you know, I mean, I'm a positive person, but I was where I was wrecked. It was rough. So I needed an experience to kind of transcend all of what was going on. Because mind you 18 months is a year and a half of a person's life. And this is day in and day out getting rejected from job after job after job after job after job, and then getting back in your car trying to survive by driving Uber for 12 hours a day. And I was getting to the point where I was like, What is the point of my existence right now, like I was going to really dark places, and I was still surfing and I was still freediving when I could, but a lot of that had to be put on hold for longer periods than I would have liked because those corresponded with the hours that I had to be in the car driving. But I still made time to serve even while in that process. But I needed something that was extraordinary to happen, so that I could get out of this situation. Because for a person to have three degrees, one bachelor's degree in two minors, and to have lived on the island for as long as I had and not be able to get a job for 18 months, there was almost something otherworldly happening to me, because the logical minutes had gone out the door at this point, I was like, There's no way I've been turned down for more than 50 jobs after a year and a half. This is just getting ridiculous. So I had this, this vision come to me that I really wanted to swim with whales. And I had seen other free divers doing this on social media. But once again, I had this limiting belief that that wasn't something that I could do. That was something that rich girls that have great families and great jobs and lots of friends, they get to do that. And they get to have the people go and take pictures of them in these extraordinary places. And they're the ones that that life was meant for not someone like me who at this point was in like adjunct poverty in Hawaii. That wasn't something that she got to do. I mean, much less like you've still, if you think surfing is bad, by the way, free diving is even worse on the body image spectrum. I mean, surfing was already like, you know, pretty exclusionary. But freediving takes it to another level. I mean, it was like if you do not actually look like a ballerina underwater, like, you're out like there will be no images of you ever. And so there was that kind of coming into it too, right, like that exclusionary concept that was in the freediving world. So I had so many limiting beliefs that this was just not even possible for me. But once again, incredible desire to do this. And I called up my ex boyfriend and I told them I'm like, Look, you know what, I'm living in Hawaii, like I'm living the dream in that aspect, which was an extraordinary ordeal just to be here. But I said there's another really extraordinary thing I really want to do. And that swim with whales in Moria Tahiti. I really want to swim with humpbacks. And he's like, well go do it. And I'm like, okay, you know, smart aleck. Like I would love to do that. But you know, if you didn't remember like I've been driving over the last To 18 months, and that's like a $5,000 trip. And he's like, the only thing that's preventing you from doing it is your belief that you can't do it. And he was, he was like, you can go swim with whales, you can do that. And you should go do that. And he took me through an entire visualization exercise, and he was like, for an hour, all I want you to do is just believe that it's even possible for you to go and have this experience. And I did it. And the very next day, I can't make this up. The very next day, in the morning, I log on to Facebook. And one of my freediving friends who is a National Geographic photographer, contributor, posted that she has one more opening for a woman to go to Moriah and swim with whales. Oh, my God, I cannot make this up. So needless to say, I saw the divine intervention. And I immediately DM her. And she sent me all of the details. I got in touch with the expedition coordinators, who were this amazing couple from Mexico who do wildlife expedition tours all over the world. But they specialize in ocean Safaris. And they, they said, Okay, we would love to have you, we need to get your deposit. And so I let them know I'm like, Okay, well, here's the situation like I've been driving over the last 18 months. I'm like, is there any way you could put me on a payment plan. And I said, I will work day and night, to make sure I pay for this. If you could just please like, give me the spot. I'll get you the funds for it. And they agreed. And they didn't, they've never done that, I think for anybody before, during or after me. Like it was like a thing that they did for me. And they didn't even know me like I was just some random girl from Hawaii that knew the photographer that was going on the trip. And I worked until I thought my body was going to fall apart. And then I just had all of these like miracle moments that came through like I had, I would tell people about why I was driving Uber because now I kind of had a purpose. And I'm like, I'm going to go swim with whales and water and it's like my life dream to go and do this. And, and it's happening. And so people would leave me like $200 tips. One of my passengers actually bought my plane ticket to Haiti, because they were so inspired by the story that I told them about getting up to that point in my life. I had people do some really amazing things to get me. And I started having this reoccurring dream that this baby whale and I were going to meet like face to face. And there was like a specific pattern that she would swim up to me and we would be like eye to eye. And it just was this constantly reoccurring dream. So I get to Tahiti and I'm in the water. I'm swimming with these whales. It's happening, like my life has forever changed. I'm having these like crazy experiences. But my reoccurring dream of this baby whale had like yet to come to fruition. They were just, you know, like kind of zooming by us or they would kind of like sleep at the bottom of the ocean and you could look down on them. But I hadn't really had that intimate moment that I was experiencing in that reoccurring dream until the very last day. And this is my super emotional. This is actually really hard for me to tell. On the last day that I was in Tahiti. It happened. The baby whale swims directly to me. And there's like, you know, 40 people in the water from all the different tours. This baby whale swims right up to me, stops, looks me in the eye, and just sits with me for like a minute. And I was like, that's it. I like literally did it. And I came back and within a month from being back from Tahiti I was hired by one of the most respected women in the Hawaii State Capitol. And I went on to work for her for three months. And then curvy surfer girl came to me. So it was like that whale experience was the catalyst for me to unlock like all of these opportunities in my life and I believe that maybe had that not happened I would have still been meditate a state of like total despair. But now I have an extraordinary passion for whales. And if you follow curvy surfer girl, you'll see that here and there. And this year, I'm actually going to go swim with sperm whales in Dominica, which is the next like I had a vision that I would swim with three whales. It was humpback sperm whales and orcas. And so I just found a trip for sperm whales in Dominica with another National Geographic contributor. And there's a few openings left for that one, I'm going to take one of those.. So that whole like saga has changed my life for the better. And then now we enter in the curtain surfer girl phase, which I really believe was connected.
Katelyn:
I mean, how can it not be? And that's the thing that I love about you, Elizabeth is everything is so intentionally connected. And I think that you recognize that as well, too. And I feel like your magic I feel like you just have, I feel I feel like you have. But I feel like you lean into that, you know, I think we all are born with some level of that.
Elizabeth:
And yeah, it's true, actually pay attention to that and facilitate that. And I think it's scary sometimes. You know, like, it's super scary. I mean, if you would have known how many panic attacks I had about trying to justify going to Tahiti, for $5,000 when I could barely pay my rent. I mean, the things that people said to me, were straight up malicious. Oh, yeah. I mean, people were like, You are irresponsible, you're reckless? What are you doing? I mean, this was not a very supportive thing that people were like, you're taking a vacation while you're like severely unemployed. I mean, people actually thought there was like something wrong with me. And I'm like, You all just don't understand, like, this is something that I feel in my soul that needs to be done to shift my reality. And I was right. It did. I mean, it shifted my entire reality. I've never been the same since the experience.
Katelyn:
And it's because you trusted yourself and you trusted. Just that you were supposed to do this and didn't need permission from anybody else. And God, what an amazing act of self trust and sovereignty.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, it was, and I'm, you know, I'm so blessed that I got to have the experience and that, you know, I, at some point, you know, you have to stop asking if it's realistic, you have to stop asking if what you want for your life is realistic, because what you really want for your life probably is unrealistic. And you have to go out there and you have to stop you also, this was a big personal thing, you have to stop asking how it's going to happen. And there really has to be a sense of faith, that if this idea or this concept, or this message has been transferred to you in some way, whether by your own thoughts or power by something higher than yourself, you have to be willing to just believe it, because it was a gift it was gifted to you, whatever that is, it may be an idea for a business, it may be the desire to start a family, it may be you know, you need to take a trip somewhere, you need to do something that's out of your comfort zone. But if this idea has been transmitted to you somehow, then it's yours. And it's your destiny, your gift and your purpose to unravel it not ask how or if it's realistic or why. But just to wholeheartedly pursue it. I totally agree. It's a core belief. And I think people who do that those are the people that live extraordinary lives that we all admire. Because there's so much fear attached to doing this. I mean, I'm not trying to communicate by any means that this is something that you just have this like effortlessness in, it's scary to do what we're talking about. It's scary to have an idea that really is out there or unrealistic for your own life or your own consciousness or your own limiting beliefs. And to just say, I'm going to do it, I'm going to find a way to do it. I'm going to believe that the resources, the people, the circumstances will align to help manifest that into my life. Yeah, they do.
Katelyn:
They do. And it's so interesting how our brain works around that are very primal brain, it kind of bumps up against that getting exiled from the tribe, like oh, if I, if I pursue this crazy inspired idea, whether like you're saying it's a business or some type of family planning or trip or whatnot. Are my friends doing that? Is my other family doing that? Like, probably not. I know anybody else who like really gets this and then you start to feel othered and so it's so interesting the patterns of how this shows But our lives beyond our bodies. Of course, that's what we're talking about today. But it is so much more than just our physical bodies like this is a really important pattern that we need to be paying attention to in so many areas of our lives and always coming back to ourselves in our truth. And trusting in that truth. Elizabeth, I could talk to you for hours, I actually would love to put a pause here and do a part two of this podcast so that we can be really intentional with telling your story around the birth of curvy surfer girl. And let's do it, because you've now got all of the moments that have led up to the pinnacle of the story. And of course, the story continues right to even into tomorrow, years. So but for now, where can everybody find you connect with you hang out with you just be in all of your magnificence. Everything in the show notes.
Elizabeth:
But yeah, so the place that I am most active is Tik tok and Instagram. And if you need to have any kind of a conversation with me, you can just DM me, I'm the one that responds to all my DMs to all the comments. I'm the one who's writing the captions. There's also a website if you need to dive deeper into who I am and some of the messaging and projects but a lot of that you can also find just on the social media channels
Katelyn:
Sweet. So will link everything in the show notes. And then for part two, be sure to come back everybody and Elizabeth and I will be talking about the birth of curvy surfer girl. I have a lot of questions about just how you created this and the challenges that you face from an industry perspective. From a body image perspective. I'd love to hear your take on boundaries and social media, your relationship with social media since that's what you're the most active on and just lots of other things I'm curious about. So anybody who's interested in part two of this, come on back and for now go follow Elizabeth Curvy Surfer Girl. Thank you so much and Mahalo to everybody that's listening to this today.
