Healing Disordered Movement + Steps For Staying Motivated

One of my favorite things to learn about clients is how they used to move their bodies when they were growing up (do you remember what this was like for you?).

When I was a kid I loved running around the backyard, riding bikes, rollerblading, swimming, tumbling around in gymnastics, and of course making up dance routines with friends in our living rooms (we took it very seriously- HA).

But things got a little rocky when I entered middle school.

Suddenly, I was more concerned with the number of crunches I could count each day than the form of my cartwheel.

My living room dance routines turned into sweaty Tae-Bo sessions.

A bike ride was equated to calories burned, rather than playfully exploring.

I was deep in the waters of diet culture without even realizing it- using fitness to keep my body small, safe, aspirational…instead of what it always had been- FUN.

This was just the beginning- BEFORE I discovered the gym, running, and hot yoga with all of the mirrors.

The truth is, my preoccupation with using fitness to control the size of my body seemed so “normal”, that I never gave it another thought. I mean, If anything I was praised for my dedication.

It never occurred to me that these patterns were disordered- sacrificing my sleep to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, holding my arms away from my body to avoid painful chafing, or running on a sore ankle to “push through”…

When I finally got serious about healing my relationship with myself. I had to look at my habits and beliefs about food, body image, & authenticity that I'd been unconsciously avoiding with all of the exercise.

I'd attached so much of my identity to my fitness (the runner, the yoga teacher, the girl with great willpower), that you better believe that this exploration felt deeply uncomfortable.

But without it, I wouldn't be where I am today:

Believing at my core that my worth and value as a person surpasses any compliment that I could hope to receive about my body.

Letting go of the fitness routines that felt forced, and leaning into ones that feel FUN.

Shifting my intention away from movement to manipulate my body size.

Resting without having to earn it.

Unfortunately, my story around disordered exercise recovery is not uncommon, and I truly believe that one of the best ways we can begin healing our relationship with movement is through hearing + having tough conversations.

My recent guest on the Body Truth podcast is Kim Hagle and man does she have a powerful story to share.

For half of the conversation, I was nodding along thinking “yes! me too! you get me!” and the other half I was taking notes furiously.

We discussed Kim's personal body image story & her journey as a personal trainer, shifting from a diet mindset to an intuitive eating mindset, practical tools for creating sustainable movement practices that feel good, the 4 essential pillars for successful motivation (and the 2 distractors!), and how to know when your relationship with movement has become disordered.

If you’re interested in hearing more, click this link!

I hope that you feel seen and inspired to take action in your life this week.