Scared About Candy + Costume Season? 4 Body Image Tools for Feeling Confident this Halloween
Happy Halloween-season friend! In light of the increased body anxiety that so many of us face during this time of year, I wanted to share a personal story + some support. If you've been feeling insecurities pop up more intensely, I promise you are not alone.
One of the strongest Halloween memories is from a fall festival that I went to when I was about 8 years old. We weren't allowed to trick or treat (which my sister & I still berate my parent's over- HA!)...so every year we'd dress up and head to the local community Civic Center for more "wholesome" holiday fun.
Now you may have heard me mention this before, but in case it's new news- I LOVVVVVVVVED playing dress up as a kid. Wearing a costume never required an event- my mom still teases that my favorite grocery shopping attire when I was something straight from the dress-up box.
But on occasions like Halloween...(or in this case "Fall Festivals")...my flair for the dramatics increased tenfold.
On this particular October evening back in 1996 I declared myself a black cat (I'm sure you're shocked lol). I grabbed my favorite dance leotard, paired it over some nude stockings, black clogging shoes, and topped it off with furry ears and a rubber cat nose, complete with whiskers.
I was ecstatic. My costume was "perfect" in my mind and I couldn't wait to get to the festival to show it off and prance around the gymnasium, filling my bucket with candy that my sister and I would trade later on our bedroom floor.
But about 10 minutes after we got to the festival, I knew that something was "off". In the entire 8 years of my life, I'd never felt this uncomfortable in my body.
At the time, I couldn't put language to how I was feeling, so I ran to the back of a booth that my mom was in charge of, hid out, and sobbed until she took me home to change. I swapped the cat costume for my favorite pair of overalls and rushed back to the festival.
As soon as I re-entered I immediately felt more relaxed. I was thinking about candy, games & other kids- not my body. And I spent the rest of the evening getting exactly what I'd originally anticipated- FUN.
25 years later, here I am at my laptop writing you this letter. I wish I could say that the cat costume experience was the only horribly uncomfortable Halloween memory. Or that after that night, my body image insecurities went away entirely. Alas, this was just the foreshadowing of a very rocky road ahead with food, body, eating disorders, mental health struggles, and more (yay!)...
Here's the cool part though- this cat costume memory shows just how brilliantly attuned I was to my mind + body at the time. We are all born with this attunement & personal memories like this are powerful markers to have before external influences begin to disrupt that innate body trust.
I might not have been able to articulate how I was feeling or exactly what I needed, but the fact that I listened to my intuition that something was "off" and used the resources that I had at the time was everything...and still entirely available today.
You deserve to feel safe in your body.
You deserve to have experiences where you can enjoy the moment without worrying about how you look.
And you sure as hell deserve to choose what's best for you, on your own terms.
Some body image takeaways that I learned from my 8-year old self (& professional experience ;) that I want to pass along for the holiday season:
- Choose clothes (or costumes!) that make you feel comfortable. If a skin-tight getup is going to preoccupy your mind, take my advice- go for the looser fitting attire & have fun!!
- Check-in with the "story in your mind". What's the mental tape that's playing? You know- the one that says "everyone is going to talk about me" or "they're definitely not going to want to hang out because of how I look". Name it. And then remember that most people are too preoccupied with themselves...if they're talking about you it's almost always a reflection of their own insecurity & not actually about you (BTW this goes for you talking about people too ;).
- Pause before saying 'YES'. What are you really saying yes to? Do you want to spend your time with the people you'll be with? Does the event feel like a "should" (even for fear of FOMO) vs. a real "want"? Believe it or not, a lot of our body insecurity comes from our own disordered boundaries, people-pleasing, and "what if-ing?'. Empowered decisions create space for more joyful fulfillment- whether cozied up with a friendly group or snuggled on the couch with your cat.
- Reset expectations & compassionately consider the greater context. There are centuries of prevailing systematic oppression, cultural norms, and personal beliefs about the worthiness of bodies that one cannot possibly begin to dismantle over the course of one night. Just knowing that someone else (ehemmm...patriarchy...diet culture...) is benefiting from my body insecurity in the moment is enough to temper any blossoming anxiety.
There you have it, my dear. I hope that this longer email met you at a time that felt good to receive. Now go out and have an awesome start to your holidays- whatever you decide to do!!
P.S. If you're scratching your head thinking "how do I even begin to start unpacking these beliefs & rebuild a nourishing relationship with my body & food?"...This is exactly what we focus on in my 1:1 coaching. If you're ready to get to the root of what's keeping you stuck & start creating a fresh, empowering relationship with yourself that will stand the test of time- click the link below to book your breakthrough call with me. This is a zero-pressure conversation that will help you get crystal clear on your best next step to food + body freedom. https://calendly.com/katelynparsons/consult
